From Thomas Merton's journals I found this, dated April 10, 1941: [note: He'd been thoroughly enjoying a visit to Our Lady of Gethsemani, an abbey, which was to become his home in later years. He'd found a refreshment in his mind and spirit like none he'd ever experienced.]"I wished I were going to stay there - which is impossible. I wished it was not impossible.
I left early in the morning Monday. Got to Louisville at 8....There is a huge gap between the monastery and the world. Louisville is a nice enough town, but I wasn't happy to be thrown back into it.
It is terrible to want to belong entirely to God but see nothing around you but the world and not see Him. In the monastery you don't see Him, either, but you have nothing to do but lament your separation from Him, pray to Him, and pray for the world. In the world itself your prayers are drowned by the noise of the traffic: you have to watch out for cars, falling buildings, brimstone, thunder.
The world is beautiful with the sunlight, but the objects in the sunlight are not beautiful - they are strange....Speech is violent and hard and blasphemous. You weep because already you see how terribly difficult it is to hold on to the cleanness and peace you had at the abbey!
I go everywhere talking about the abbey."
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Throughout the ages it has been obvious that we are not made for this world, but are citizens in exile.
One day..........one day.
8 comments:
Cherie,
spooky - yet again we are posting in a similar vein. Just three days back into work, I'm longing for the place of retreat. But I need to figure out how to build the nourishment of retreat into my everyday. Every blessing with your quest for peace and wholeness.
And blessings to you, too, dear friend. How I cherish you!
A pensive post, Cherie. I share Merton's and your melancholy. Thanks for this.
The longing is sometimes almost painful.
"You weep because already you see how terribly difficult it is to hold on to the cleanness and peace you had at the abbey!"
I've never been to an abbey, but I have experienced the cleanness and peace........
Thanks for understanding, Annie. The support we give one another helps....a lot, doesn't it.
I've got lump in my throat, Cherie. I feel this way too. Thanks for the Thomas Merton quote. It says it all. The support does help alot.
You're welcome, Ash. It's good we all stick together!Thanks!
I feel encouraged... if someone known for retreat and meditation struggles to talk to God in the noise of the world, then I am not so useless at praying and reflecting as I thought!
Cecily, that's how I felt when I first read these words of Merton's. A sort of okayness, not such a flop as I thought. I'm so happy you found encouragement in this!
:-)
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