Lump in my throat. Single tears find their way from my eyes to my chin. Sobs drum against my chest, above my very heart. Back and forth shakes my head in denial.
My mind knew it was coming.
My heart held out hope that they'd find each other again, find that the proceedings were all a mistake. There is love, deep down. Life crusts over truth. Emotions lie. Fear manipulates. Selfishness destroys.
Outside a storm brews, gusts shake the window. Tom and the girls sand cabinets. College enriches Joe at this hour. Ben sets up his new photography studio. Sammy sleeps, dreams, in his dog bed.
And here I sit, weeping, frustrated at the dark side of this world, just so very very heartbroken..............sad.
Fierce clicking of hail against the sill interrupts, entices a tiny smile. Blasts of wind clear my head.
Suddenly, clarity reveals anew the depth of my love for Tom and my children. Heavy sadness lifts fresh determination from my mind and heart, planting it squarely before me, within me. We must skillfully battle the evil that would destroy. It must never ever know victory over our sacred union.To completely experience this sadness, for my loved ones, is a conscious choice this moment. The passing of a once good marriage, like death, deserves a tender, sorrowful, heart funeral.
12 comments:
Cherie,
what a tender heart you have. Your post oozes compassion and, more than that, a marking of something lost that deserves not just to filter away like sand in an egg timer.
And to be enabled to see how blessed your union is is the icing on the cake.
divorce... ergh!!! From personal (parent) experience, its hideous.
I wrote a reply comment on my blog, but just in case it was too far back I'll write here too! I'm coming back to your abbey post - haven't got the headspace to do it justice, so will read it at leisure later and comment more thoughtfully!
Yes, grieving is needed. I so agree, Cherie. It's an awful thing when a marriage dies.
Thanks, Liz. Your understanding helps - I feel hugged.
Cecily - yeah, you are right, ergh!! Hideous. Thanks for the message about the abbey post. I hope you find it interesting.
Deanna, yes, grieving. Thanks, kind soul.
You gals are terrific.
:-(
Shoot...
Thanks, Pam. My heart has an owie.
I can tell... must be someone near and dear to you. When people divorce, they hurt so many people! The ripple effect...
Your comment, Pam, "The ripple effect..." reminded me of a post I did last year. So true, so true.
http://cherieswebwanderings.blogspot.com/2006_05_01_archive.html
Having just gone through a divorce myself, I found this a very moving post. There is definitely a grieving period involved. I'd never known a heart could be so sore until I experienced it myself. But I also know it gets better...
I'm sorry to learn that you are recently divorced, WC. Your words, "I'd never known a heart could be so sore," sure ring true. Much worse for you, I'm sure.......good to know it gets better. Thanks for the encouragement!
Who got divorced???
I'll email you, Ben.
Post a Comment