Sixteen - Old Lyrics Revisited

On an ancient record album - yes, record album - I have of Michael Murphey's, before he went cowboy and added the Martin to his name, there is a song entitled, Blessing In Diguise. I was a teenager when I first heard it. Yet, a few lines continue to rumble through my head decade upon decade.

It was a blessing in disguise
A foolish move can make you wise
A change brings back around the sun
So I can swim into the sky.

Tornados, ghosts, and lord of dreams
Ah, they're never what they seem
Thank you for opening my eyes!
Good-bye, sweet blessing in disguise.

Being one who 'thinks too much' - a taunt with which I heartily disagree - I have of late taken to muttering to myself during stressful times, "I haven't been me since I was three."

Thanks to a long-in-the-works blessing in disguise which was recently and utterly surprisingly revealed, suddenly and completely, I am stunned to find myself free.

Free!

I am me again.

Though I didn't commit a crime, I think I know how a prisoner feels when he walks out of the penitentiary after a long, grueling, gray-world sentence. The stink of the buildings hangs on, the sallow skin, sunken eyes, disorientation remain. But deep within, a Phoenix rises and can be felt in the heart.

Freedom.

Rebirth.

All the world lies before, unexpectedly swelling with vivid color and endless opportunity.

And the lightness. As though I could float up into the starry sky!

Darkness may descend tomorrow. Life's like that. Because of my sweet blessing in disguise there is wisdom, energy, and clarity to better face the inevitable storms heading my way.

Throughout the whole of life one must continue to learn to live, and what will amaze you even more, throughout life one must learn to die. ~~ Seneca

Little deaths - of all sorts - endings, surrenders, consciously giving up control of our lives when it is appropriate, ultimately handing ourselves over to God.

Grateful to God am I for putting to death a half-century of discipline that has been good for my soul.

Whatever may be ahead, I humbly embrace the next chapter of my life.

Learning to live. Learning to die. Learning to be reborn.