Friday, December 18, 2009

Eighteen - Courage

Most people attempt to skirt problems rather than meet them head-on. We attempt to get out of them rather than suffer through them. Indeed, the tendency to avoid problems and the emotional suffering inherent in them is the primary basis of all psychological illness. And since most of us have this tendency to a greater or lesser degree, most of us lack complete mental health. Those who are most healthy learn not to dread but actually to welcome problems. Although triumph isn't guaranteed each time we face a problem in life, those who are wise are aware that it is only through the pain of confronting and resolving problems that we learn and grow.
~~~ M. Scott Peck, M.D.


Marianne Elixir said...

Wonderful quote and observation. Thanks for sharing!

tshsmom said...

Ya know, I've always been really good at conquering everyday problems. If something breaks, we learn how to fix it. We've learned to work around illnesses and handicaps. Shrinking paychecks? We stretch what we have and do without the extras. All of this HAS made us stronger...and prouder.

Emotional problems are another story. I avoid them like the plague(or H1N1).

I tend to ignore the hurts by saying: "Life's too short to make a big deal out of this." or "My feelings don't matter. I'll get over it." But all those issues don't go away. They're all boxed up in a secluded corner of my brain.

Now I'm going through that box, one item at a time. Analyzing each item so I can dispose of it and not return it to the box. I'm about halfway through that box now. I've melted a lot of those problems with tears and burned many of them with justifiable anger. But I refuse to put them back in that box anymore!

Cherie said...

You're welcome, Marianne!

Tshs: I've never been a 'stuffer' - you know, stuffing emotional things into that box BUT I was very very very discouraged from dealing with my emotions as a child so there was mass turmoil inside which led to some really hard stuff to deal with as an adult. I didn't know how to cope as a child or a teen but did the best I could. I'm still dealing. Lots to undo, lots to recognize.

I like your box analogy. I use the box analogy to describe ME being stuffed into a dark place of 'others expectations' as a child, teen, and young adult. I finally crawled out myself about 8 years ago and have been fleeing the scene ever since.

It's the work that must be done for us to be healthy and I heartily applaud you for doing it. I know how hard it is but I also know how freeing once the wounds scar over.

Good luck and MERRY CHRISTMAS!