Friday, April 27, 2007

Stampeding Herd

When I go for long spells without drinking enough water, say weeks, I lose some of my thirst instinct. My body doesn’t ask for much water.

When I drink plenty of fluids for weeks, then decrease fluids for a day, I become thirsty. My body asks for more, “Hey, what’s up?”

I wonder, is it possible for us to become so unaccustomed to feeding our inward selves, that we no longer crave spiritual nourishment? When I say inward selves, I mean, as my son used to say, “the part of me that is me." The soul, spirit, heart, intellect, all of those and whatever you want to call it. Anything but that hypnotized part of us that doesn’t think, but attaches itself to the mindless herd, that is addicted to intensive ‘doing’ in order to please, to get along, and to be seen as productive.

Nourishment for the inner being consists, for me, of following my intellectual and spiritual curiosity and contemplating what I discover. Lots of contemplation. It also consists of calm, pensive observation as I proceed along this journey. Intentionally simplifying my life has given me the space and time I need to nourish not only my own soul, but the souls of others who cross my path, most especially my family. How can we grow spiritually if we do not feed the soul, or taste the feedings when they come from the hand of God? How can we offer encouragement to others, if we have an empty pitcher from which to pour?

When I encounter people who run all day long, run fast and hard, skimming over the day at breakneck speed with the goal being to list off all the stuff they did, for the seeming purpose of personal validation, or for gold stars on some abstract, socially-acceptable chart, I shake my head in puzzlement. When do they nourish their inner selves? How can they observe God’s lessons when life is a blur? There is no time. They complain of exhaustion, of literally falling into bed drained every night, only to rise again in the morning to begin this insane racing through their next day. Day after day. Week after week, all the way to year after year. They seem satisfied with this overload of doing, often showcasing their list of checked-off activities for the day. It feels like a productive life to them, a full and rich life. It is a ruse.

“Where does the time go? It just FLIES by!”

No, it doesn’t fly by. It is simply...unnoticed...in the mad dash.

I know a woman who felt the need to schedule each and every moment of her children’s lives, with activities meant to give them the best encounters of all that life has to offer: music, sports, literature, art, church activities, language, social interaction, and more. Every day of Christmas, Spring, and Summer vacation had something planned. Her intentions were twofold. First, she wanted the children to have every advantage she could give them to succeed as adults. Second, she was terrified should they become bored. “What will I do if they are underfoot, and bored!”

This gal ran fast as a mom. She grabbed a wrist of each toddler and dragged them swiftly across the long buffet table of life for 18 years, so swiftly in fact, that the poor kids, off their feet, yanked horizontally from one end of the feast to the other, could manage to snag only a bit of knowledge here, and tad of spiritual nourishment there. She has no idea what may actually have been ingested.

Now adults, these same 'kids' are dazed. Just confused and unable to process what the heck it all means. Without a solid inner base, they simply panic, looking for someone to tell them what to do. Without consistent moral or practical guidance, no attentive mommy or daddy time, just a childhood of rushing and having stuff crammed into their minds, their energy drained through forced activities, these kids have found that their raising consisted of supermarket samples. No time to dream, to observe, to play in the garden, to process the easy and hard experiences of childhood, no parental insights or wisdom explaining the stuff of life, no time to just....be. The space in them meant for moral understanding, healthy curiosity, budding wisdom, and fresh-scrubbed energy has been vacuumed, and left hollow. They are starting from scratch. Their parents can barely recall the years the kids were home - it went by like THAT.

It’s not the tyranny of the urgent. It’s the propaganda of the herd, a thoughtless, stampeding herd. We are not meant to close our minds and hearts and flat out sprint through life. Children and adults alike require stillness, for it is there that nourishment bubbles up, and is gently shared. It doesn't help others for us to lose ourselves.

To feed the soul is to strengthen clarity, and grow wisdom. To starve it is to deafen the instinct to want to truly know, making it easy to believe the propaganda of the herd. Because without inner nourishing, the only voice that is heard, is the herd's.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cherie, I burned my kids out early on and like an 18 wheeler truck I slammed on the breaks and came to a complete stop to evaluate what I was doing. Life slowed down considerably after that, they were around 12 and 10 years old.

We had more time together to watch the sunset, play in the yard and took on responsibilities together, like cleaning the house and doing dishes.

To this day, I'm not sure I did what was right for my kids. I just know they are turning into wonderful men, they don't take drugs and are good to their souls.

I had a girlfriend that ran her kids ragged. Always pushing, always making sure they had opportunities, her kids are just like her, and successful. I don't know if they are happy.

You are so right about taking the time to feed the soul. It's important that we all read words like these to stop for a moment to check in with ourselves to see if we're doing what we need to do.

Thanks for the post.

tshsmom said...

Congratulations Cherie, for a positively BRILLIANT post!! PURE GENIUS! Even though my thoughts, and lifestyle, run parallel to yours, I could NEVER have expressed it this well!!

Your post fills in all the holes in the post I'm writing today. You've provided me with the "missing link" I was searching my soul for!
Thank you, my friend!

liz crumlish said...

Cherie, profound wisdom and insight. thank you so much. I guess one of the things I was doing last week was "topping up". But hopefully not so that I can go full steam ahead but so that I can gently absorb more as well as having more to give.

Anonymous said...

This is one of the best blog postings yet,you clearly stated the condition and analized it with wisdom and clarity.

Cherie said...

For some reason I am welling up at the responses I'm finding here today. I guess it's because this is something I strongly believe, and the tender support of friends and family touch my very heart. You know, I hope, how very much I appreciate all of you.

Sandy, from what you've told me about your kids, I'd say you did a terrific job as a mom. They are smart, sensitive, and kind, just like you. It's never wrong to work, play, relax, and share together, at a reasonable life/soul-affirming pace. I appreciate what you said about your friend's kids being like her, successful but you don't know if they are happy. Society lies to us and says the two are ALWAYS synonymous. Thinking people know it ain't necessarily so. I am grateful for your sharing here today. Thanks!

tshs, our mysterious across-the-continent kindredness floors me, and delights me. I am so happy that this post "fills in all the holes" in the post you are writing. Your enthusiasm is contagious! I know how great it is to find yourself reading something and think, "Yeah!! That's it! That's what I mean!" Like stumbling upon buried treasure. I'm glad I could help. Lord knows, you've done the same for me more than once! Thank you for your enthusiastic comment, tshs.

Liz, I thought of you and your retreat when I was writing this post. Retreats are excellent soul-feeding opportunities. I love the words you wrote, "so that I can gently absorb more as well as having more to give". Your wisdom encourages me! Thanks for sharing!

Tom, thank you from all of my heart for taking the time to read this post which kept me up into the wee hours of the morning, the only time I can write in solitude. Your patience and understanding have been phenomenal! You and I have found, from personal experience, that what I've written here is true, and it's been a wonderful journey so far. I look forward to the rest of it with you! You and the kids - there are not grand enough words to express my heart!

Pam said...

Well said, Dear Friend, as usual. As I tell my mom frequently, you have a gift for putting into words what so many of us know to be true. Knowing it is one thing, but being able to express what you know in words that will encourage and affirm and enlighten - that is a gift.

Too bad you're not in charge of "the herd"!!!
:-)

I think in addition to all the doing and going so many people fill their lives with, they also clutter their minds with constant distraction - tv, radio, ipods. And I love all of those things! But so many kids now days seem to always always always have their earphones on or the cell phone to their ear and I wonder about that... when do they ever just think, ponder, contemplate? Do they even know how?

deanna said...

All I can add is I agree, to provide down time for yourself and others, is a great gift. You've taken the trouble to make it okay in your family's life, and that shows.

Of course, God is amazing enough to give some people in crazy family situations (and maybe because of growing up in them) an appreciation for taking it slow.

We can only try to do our best with what we've got, and to give ourselves permission for what we know must be right.

Cherie said...

Thanks, Pam. You are kind to me, you always have been.

I wish I was in charge of the herd, too....ha! I'd tell 'em a thing or two!!

You know I totally agree with you about kids and their devices - cell phones, et all. When do they ponder, think, contemplate? Do they even know how? I have hope that they will learn eventually. Again, thanks, Twin!

Deanna, thanks to you as well. God does have an amazing way of putting someone is an abysmal situation, only to let that situation teach the opposite, thus enlightening the person to a better way. One of His specialties, methinks. He's loaded with them!

Anonymous said...

"It doesn't help others for us to lose ourselves." --that's the line that jumped out at me. So true! Great post Cherie.

Cherie said...

People sometimes live their lives as though they believe the opposite to be true - as if losing themselves, helps others. What kid is helped by a mom or dad who has no sense of themself? How can an unaware herd follower, lead and encourage a kid, or anyone else for that matter? Thank you, Annie, for your comment!

cecily said...

Here I was thinking I might need to cut way back on blogging in order to spend more time in contemplation - and then I found your post and I couldn't stop reading, so there goes that idea! ;)

You are so right Cherie. This is on top of some reminders at church this morning, and I'm feeling very humbled by God and his speaking. I'm not doing a great job of listening to him yet though. :(

I always feel so enriched and 'phat' for want of a better word, when I spend time with God... I don't understand why I don't run to him all the time. Instead I drag my feet and let myself get distracted. Faulty choices.

IndianaJones said...

this made me think about how often i feel "guilty" when I realize two hours have passed and all I've done is played on the floor with my girl...while the laundry, dishes, vacuuming and bills sit waiting for me...of course it isn't real guilt, just that herd mentality that has been drilled into me by society (not family thankfully) that I must be "doing" something with each moment instead of really doing life ~ like playing with my girl!
thanks for the encouragement.

Cherie said...

You are not alone, Cecily! Not alone in the times you feel phat, and not alone in the feet dragging and faulty choices. I guess the thing is that we recognize it, huh, and choose to alter ourselves, however long that process might take. Read my newest post and then tell me if you'd like to join me in hanging out at an abbey for awhile! :-)

Cherie said...

You play with that darling little child of yours. That's 'doing' that matters, Summer. You'll do the laundry when you run out of underwear. You won't always have your daughter to get down on the floor and play with. Kick that herd right out of your head - again and again if you have to. :-)

You inspire me that you DO play. All a little girl wants and needs is time with Mommy and Daddy.