Socrates on Transparency

 

We can all do better here . . . thank you, Socrates.

So much pretense in this world. If we could actually be and achieve what we set out for others to see, well, wouldn't that just be something.

Some people would be shooting themselves in the foot, I know. Influencers, for example, who are so fake that even their most sincere offerings are chaff, floating away in the wind.

But for we serious people of this world, we could do better at syncing up the real with the image. We imagine ourselves virtuous, but in our private moments, are we really? Who are we when no one is looking?

This is something I've taken to heart all my life. I do put a good foot forward for guests, it's what a good host does, but I'm not phony. I genuinely want to give my guests the best possible moment that I can, give them a respite from the drudgery of life. 

I don't think Socrates was talking about hospitality. I think he was talking about relationships, about behavior, but mostly about our hearts and minds, our desires and thoughts. What we pretend to be is what we think is the best 'us' to present to the world, so it probably is worth pursuing. The genuine article, our highest potential as human beings.

I have to say, phony people are a pet peeve of mine. Here I am, living as authentically as I can, though not perfectly, putting it all out there, only to have phony people all around me perform. They purr and giggle, they lie and deceive, they manipulate and condescend. I do not like being used, hence my aversion to using people. I do not like to be stroked when I'm hurting, stroked like a little puppy with goofy baby talk and useless platitudes. 

When someone I love is hurting I listen. Intently. And I offer whatever actual help I can give, and I seek to learn what they need from me to get them through the storm. I think about them and about their struggles, they don't leave my mind. I check up on them until they are through it. I care. Sincerely care. I am there for them through it all, not just until something distracts me.

But it's rare for people these days to put it all out there. The social competition is stiff. We don't want to show our flaws, because heaven knows, no one else has any. Seems people are not comfortable baring their souls anymore. It's a rare person who will do so. I do so. And I find people willing to listen and help me and show true compassion with intelligence. While it's one thing for them to dig into my mind, they often put up a guard around their own.

It's frustrating. Very. Because there is wealth in sharing our highs and our lows with one another. Dialogues are far superior to monologues. 

Also, I must note that Happy Talk is so sickly sweet it rots our minds like sugar on teeth. Chattering about nothing at all or parroting the words and ideas of others is utterly useless in forming lasting bonds. Stop pretending. Have the courage to reveal who you truly are.

Be yourself. Ask questions. Share ideas. We don't have to have all the answers or even all the questions. But to be curious and to share a hypothesis in process or to puzzle out concepts and ideas, yes, these enliven and enrich us. Hard to find companions who will take the time to linger over conversations such as these, I know. Everyone has to be somewhere else an hour ago. Plus, there is a fear of being revealed, of being known as we truly are. It's sad because most friendships grow in the soil of honesty.

Oh well. I will keep being what I think is the best version of me - still a work in progress - and thank God for genuine people when they pop up here and there.

Those of you who already are with me in this, you know who you are, I treasure you. 

Your honor crowns you.

Sweet June 2024

The air in Springfield this past month has been absolutely delicious! Perfumed. 

Each sunny early morning, the sun's warm fingers tickle the sweet aromas from flowers, blossoms, and grasses. The breezes then entice and carry the loosened dainties far and wide.

Mornings, I lie in bed reading . . . in bliss.

Filmy sheer white curtains lift and gently billow on the air dancing between my room's two huge garden-facing windows, fresh scents swirling with them.

I cannot help closing my eyes in peace, inhaling deeply of the mingled fragrances, smiling in closed-lipped contentment. 

Bright blue sky, no clouds.

I shall meander out to the hose in my herb garden to lightly sprinkle newly sprouting basil, parsley, and cilantro, then, give drinks to the other darlings.

I've already picked a heaping bowlful of red sweet strawberries, stunned at the many ripe orbs peeking out from under sturdy green leaves! 

I snap a handful of warm-from-the-sun asparagus. Prolific, as is everything else in my gardens this year.

Artisan French toast with berries for breakfast along with roasted just-picked-asparagus, and a mug of the tea my daughter gave me for Mother's Day.

Sweet June!

Biden the Literary Pirate

When I was a young woman, 1987 I think it was, I first heard, on the evening news at 6:00, the word plagiarize in connection with a smug and sleazy senator, Joe Biden, unknown to me at that time. 

Grabbing a heavy, bright red Webster's dictionary, I looked up the word. I was appalled. I thought surely the discovery of his crime was the end of this guy's political career.

Ever since then, in my mind the word plagiarize travels interchangeably with the name Joe Biden. He copies the words of other people, presenting them as his own, never noting their true authorship. He plagiarizes.

He's done this throughout his life beginning in school and most

recently during his crabbily-delivered Pointe du Hoc speech of Friday, June 7, 2024, many passages lifted from President Ronald Reagan's Boys of Pointe du Hoc speech from 1984. Yes, a speech writer no doubt wrote the entire body of Biden's speech. But Biden spoke it; the onus is on him to check it out, or have it checked out, especially given his, ahem, habit of cheating. He is the President now, after all. 

Sloppy and sleazy, the heart of a con man, a cheater, a puny fellow who tries to stand on the shoulders of giants, but he cannot rise that high. Ever. 

Joe Biden = plagiarist = sleazy, in 1987, sleazy in 2024.

Here is a link to the text of Reagan's speech, which is one for the ages, a beautiful, dignified, honorable speech worth reading. It cleansed my mental palate after listening to Mr. Plagiarist just now.

Here is a link to a video of Reagan's speech. 

Truth matters.

Omaha Beach, 2017 Photo: Cherie Klusman

Seeing One Another

   "We were created to look at one another, weren't we?" -  Degas

Place de la Concorde, 1875, Edgar Degas

Face to face, eyes upon eyes, feeling the heat and breath from another's body, smelling their clothing and perfume, watching the wind play with their hair, patting them on the arm in comfort, a teasing punch on the shoulder, seeing each other in person, this is normal human interaction.

Screens are abnormal.

And we are paying a price for our abnormality.

Unplug with me. 

Unplug from screens and walk away from fakery in comparison, forgery, manipulation, fake scripted and curated lives with unrealistic standards of plastic beauty. Succumb to the phony no more. 

Walk into real life, real living, flaws and all.

Live amongst people. Genuine people.

We were indeed created for each other.

Giving, Taking Away, Giving Back Again

It's been repeated to death, but there it remains in the Bible (Job 1:21b), the Lord gives and the Lord takes away. And here we are to understand that the Lord is blessed for doing so. He does what He does and there ain't nothing we can do about it . . . 

. . . except strive all our lives long to understand that a good God is doing what He's doing for a good reason. Always.

And He is. He really is. He is teaching and showing and growing all of us who are His children.

I remember giving my children toys to play with only to find they didn't appreciate them, might break them, weren't ready for them just yet. So I quietly took them out of play until the right time. 

I also remember many times in my life when I had something wonderful but didn't appreciate it, until it was taken away, or I lost it due to my own carelessness. I wanted it a hundred times more after living without it. How I cherished the wonderful somethings when they returned to me!

These little God lessons come to me at the weirdest times.

Like during this unusual and busy week in the middle of a huge home improvement project.

Two years ago I had something that was wonderful, that I had worked and prayed for, but it scared me. I wasn't sure how to live with it. It made me feel vulnerable, uncomfortable. I didn't appreciate its wonder and goodness. I stupidly dwelt in fear.

So, God took it away, slowly over the course of two years. I pine for it now. I kick myself for not realizing what I had, when I had it. I am frustrated for not guarding and protecting it. 

I prayed to God today, letting Him know that I understand why it was taken: I wasn't ready.

He is slowly giving it back to me, but He's making me work harder for it than I did the first time. I am humbled. And I am grateful. I am willing to work to regain the gift. 

I have every hope that the gift He gave and took away and is giving back will be appreciated and enjoyed all the more the second time around, because its value is known to me. Truly known and understood.

I love the last verse in Job 1. "Through all of this Job did not sin nor did He blame God." That's the ticket. 

I know a life-long, church-going Christian woman who regularly raises her fist to Heaven and blames God in fury when He does what I've described in this post, that is He doesn't do what she wants Him to do; He either doesn't give or He takes something away. She goes directly to anger, fury, blaming, fist in the air, "Curse you, God." I shudder when she describes these moments of hers to me. She doesn't understand her lack of perspective. "Um, He's God and you're not, and He is good and you're not, so maybe be still and know this? Watch and learn? Trust? Hmm?" 

I've always found her tempestuous reaction mystifying because, for some reason, God has kept such thinking out of my nature. I've always known that He is the boss, the One who knows all, the Author of the story, the only one who knows everything that has, is, and will happen, and He knows exactly how He wants it all to go down. Also, I know to the depths of my heart, mind, and soul that He loves me. He is the Source of love.

So I trust Him. I've had my moments - seriously hard, crushing life events - where my legs turn to rubber and the air is sucked from my spiritual lungs, but always - so far always - I have immediately turned to Him in prayer expressing my shock and weakness and hurt and pain, but I tell Him, "Lord, I don't know why you are having this happen, but I trust you. I can barely stand, but I trust you and know you are doing something good for your story. Whatever has to happen, please help me glorify you in my response. I want to understand You. I want to be good like You." (This, you see, is my long-winded version of Job's words at the end of chapter one. "Through all of this Job did not sin nor did He blame God.")

We all have our own walks and lessons. To respond in trust is the most important aspect of walking and learning. And then, to be grateful receivers of the gifts He sometimes returns to us, when we are ready

.

Spiritual Mea Culpa

Sometimes I am acutely aware that I live in a working class town with people who are, well, different from me, in manner, in presentation, in usage of the English language.

I fight the pride, man. I really do.

But today it got the better of me, and I actually said out loud as I drove home from the post office where I'd signed for and gathered my antique Italian mirror (ahem), "I really hate living here. These people!"

Feeling the necessity to meet my pride with humility, my thoughts turned to Biblical passages about believers being salt and light. Many of our Lord's teachings flowed through my pious mind.

Following resignation's deep sigh, I decided to focus on blessing the world with my presence, in order to brighten it, you know, help it out, because, well, me among them. I must stay the course and be a good little Christian woman amidst the Cretins. (Sorry, Crete. I'm sure you are populated with absolutely lovely people.)  I decided that it's best if I deign to bide my time being a godly example to these people until Jesus returns or takes me Home, whichever comes first. 

"Yes, you ignorant, unwashed, peasants, I will walk among you until God calls me out of this increasingly uncivilized world. He wants me here to help you. So I will do my best." 

More lung expulsions. 

The light turned green. I headed home. Unsettled, my mind puzzled over my hasty conclusions. I was missing something. Something crucial . . . 

 . . . . then, I realized with a gulp and a blush . . . . um, Jesus had to walk among the ignorant, unwashed peasants and also the snooty religious leaders in order to actually save their souls. And He did so willingly and with grace, love, compassion, purpose, and all His energy, creativity and talent. 

He washed His disciples feet and then told the disciples, "Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them." (John 13:14-17)

Face palm.

Right there in the car at the red light under a bright blue May sky, I got a clue.

Mea culpa. 

Looks like the biggest proudest unwashed idiot is me.

Postscript: memorize scripture all your life long. Especially teach Bible memorization to children. God uses it to teach you as an adult. Good stuff, even if it may leave a mark on your face.

Max Ernst, 1920

“Ambiguous Figures (1 copper plate, 1 zinc plate, 1 rubber cloth…),” circa 1919-20. Collage, gouache, India ink, pencil and painting over a print. Collection Judith and Michael Steinhardt, New York. Copyright 2004 Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York/ADAGP, Paris.

Max Ernst's 1920 "collage is serious, desperately so. It is made up of cuttings from pictures of machinery and other technical equipment, which have been pasted together so as to form two nightmarish 'mechanical men.' These stare at us blindly through their goggles and demand to know if we recognize them as images of modern man, slave to the machine and thus little more than a machine himself." -- H.W. Janson & Dora Lane Janson

World War One changed the world, drastically.

Things like Dada artwork erupted in response. With the aim of destroying traditional art and then replacing it with new works they'd create, one of the Dada artists, Jean Arp (aka Hans Arp, 1886 - 1966), wrote this: 

"Revolted by the butchery of the 1914 World War, we in Zurich devoted ourselves to the arts. While the guns rumbled in the distance, we sang, painted, made collages, and wrote poems with all our might." 

Now, let me be clear, Dada-ists were politically very far left. I don't agree with their politics. I don't agree with their goal to destroy traditional art or culture. At all.

However, I understand that, while being very young, they felt fear and a lack of control or any sense to the War, to the destruction of life as they knew it. 

I am feeling the same things today, with the culture war drowning everything I hold dear, and at such a rapid pace. How quickly the structures of civilization are pulled down and either left ruinous or quickly replaced with evil. It is shocking.

So, while Ernst and I would disagree politically, we do agree that the barbarity of wars and the ensuing cultural upheavals need context, and art is a context that lasts.

This artwork of Ernst's comes to my mind often, because not only is it reflective of the existential crises experienced by the young in the early 20th century, but Ernst has proven himself prescient. His work reaches from the past to posit his questions to the early 21st century.

What is man becoming? Are we okay with it? How shall we respond to the blowing up of the world?

 

Revisited from 2018: Death, Where is Your Sting?

He was in His early thirties.

Just a kid, by today's standards.

Yet, Jesus lived a sinless life, died a gruesome death, and most importantly, awakened to eternal life.

I imagine Jesus stirring to consciousness there on that cold slab. Remember, He was a young man, a human being like the rest of us. Have you ever awakened from a nightmare only to react like Ebenezer Scrooge, rejoicing to be alive? Jesus must have been rejoicing, too. His sacrifice was accepted by God! He conquered death! He knew full well what, in His obedience, He had done not only for Himself, but for those who believe in Him, those who are drawn to the Goodness of God.

The Prince of Peace sat up, and unwound the grave clothes from His body. Then, Jesus folded the small facial cloth and set it on the slab. An interesting note about that action, the folding of the facial cloth, is that in Hebrew custom, when a master was finished with his meal, he'd leave his napkin wadded up on his plate to signal his servant that he was finished eating and would be leaving the table. If the master left a folded napkin at his place, it meant he would return, so please, servant, leave his plate and silverware on the table. Was Jesus, in folding that piece of cloth, leaving a signal that He'd be returning for us? Perhaps. At last, the Messiah walked out of the dark tomb of a rich man into the fresh air of Jerusalem.

Think of it. Just think of His experience.

Death could not keep Him. He rose victorious over it. He is alive today.

Because He lives, we have the choice to follow Him to another Age, which we call Heaven. It is there He prepares a place for us so that where He is, we may be also. He waits for us, his younger brothers and sisters. It is glorious, and so humbling.

To you, gentle reader, I wish an Easter Observation full of love, joy, meaning, refreshment, and the realization that Easter marks the most Important Event in World History. The resurrection of Jesus.

I hope He has your attention...and your love.

Happy Easter!

When You Can't Get to France or Italy Soon Enough

Springtime, printemps, France and Italy.

What do these have in common?

They call to me so loudly that I am distracted on a daily basis.

Spring is entering my world slowly and steadily. Yesterday, I caught the first cherished scent of spring breezing in the air, the moment I wait for all winter. It's gentle stream of sweetness casually tickled my nose. I stopped and gasped At last! 

Buds are forming on tree branches. In the garden, bulbs have pushed cheery yellow daffodils up and out of the soil. Skittering squirrels in the yard, birds energetically bathing in their baths, grandchildren gleefully squealing on the tree swing. 

Rhapsody!

One ache remedied by nature.

But France and Italy don't waft into my neighborhood as spring does.

You know how it is when you've frequented a beloved place, but you are no longer there? Out of the blue something and many things vividly bring the place to mind.

Repeatedly.

For days.

Weeks.

Months.

Relentlessly.

Until you feel so distracted and lonely for the place you find yourself weeping during the day, in little bursts, tiny, personal, and very very powerful.

Circumstances beyond my control have cancelled an upcoming late spring European holiday for me.

I am gutted.

That being said, I am pragmatic about the postponement, for I know I will return soon. Pragmatism is my mind speaking.

For my heart, however, it's as if the promise of Christmas has been snatched away. All the feels are still there, the expectations, the joy, the glory of what was to come.

Then, nope. Gone. 

I don't give up easily. As a mother of four kids and four grandkids, I've learned to create work arounds to dispel disappointment.

So, work around it is!

Since I can't get myself to France or Italy right now, I deliver France and Italy to myself in the shape of favorite movies (A Good Year, From the Vine, Paris Can Wait), French music (Debussy and Satie), and in the form of favorite treats always enjoyed in France including some special new-to-me tastes from Italy. 

The movies and music soothe the aches. But not enough.

Today, my order of French and Italian treats came in the mail.

Hallelujah! Relief!

Here I sit, sipping my tea with a cube of rugged La Perruche sugar. I am transported to European cafés in powerful, lovely ways. So satisfying is one French sugar cube that the noise of the roofer repairing storm damage above my head fades. 

Well, kind of.

Add to tea sipping joy, a St. Michel madeleine. My daughter introduced these to me. She is married to a French man and goes to France often, every time grabbing a big bag of these for the visit and a few more for her return trip luggage. 

Because madeleines are part of every visit to France, for me these soft delicious petite cakes evoke the distinct emotions, aromas, pace, and beauty of the Old World. As though superimposed onto my western Oregon chilly February, rich French and Italian surroundings come alive via memories of stone buildings, castles, cathedrals, friendly people, heavenly organic foods, the clackity clunk of ancient cobblestones, the joie de vivre of country driving along narrow roads which take us to places unventured and inviting. 

To soothe my need to be in Italy, I selected some Italy to put into me: jam prepared in the Puglia region of Italy made from 55% Italian grown fruit. 

I've yet to sample it.

As a small business product, this jam fits the bill perfectly.

I will buy fresh made croissants from my baker on Saturday morning. I'll knife dollops of jam onto each bite. I'll sip French-pressed coffee my husband and I will make, adding French sugar cubes, bien sur.

France and Italy have entered my home, delighting my senses once again.

Music, movies, and tasty treats will stave me off for awhile.

If you catch me glowing, smiling, eyes half shut, know that I am dreaming of friends who miss me as I miss them.

Hemingway's Genius

In the movie Papa Hemingway in Cuba there is a scene in which Ernest sits at the bar with a new friend who, as a young writer, asks Hem about writing.

Hemingway implores the kid, as he calls him, to think of a number between one and ten.

Six, replies the kid.

With a pen, Hem begins writing on a small white cocktail napkin.

Finished, he slides it over the smooth bar to his friend, a complete story in only six words.

His words?

"Baby shoes. Never worn. Brand new."

Genius.

Who Cares About Art? Repost from March 2016

[First published in March, 2016 here on Cause I Believe in You, this post is even more relevant today as we observe the diabolical erasing of Western culture and its history. If you follow culture, as I try to, you are likewise familiar with this rapidly unfolding tragedy. Alas, God will only allow what is necessary for His story to be told. We who believe in God, and in His saving grace, are His witnesses. Salt and light, that is our calling, to preserve the Truth in whatever form it is expressed and presented. May we rise to the challenge.] 

 Bruges Madonna and Child, Michelangelo, 

It has taken six decades for me to understand the importance of art for a people, a culture, a civilization.

This quote from the movie, The Monuments Men, summarizes my thoughts succinctly. Frank Stokes, the leader of the group of men sent near the end of WW2 to save works of art stolen by the Nazis and stored in Hitler's hidden treasure troves, explains to the close-knit group his perspective on their mission.

"All right, listen up fellas because I think you should know the truth as I see it. This mission was never designed to succeed. If they were honest, they would tell us that. They'd tell us that with this many people dying, who cares about art. They're wrong. Because that's exactly what we're fighting for, for our culture and for our way of life. You can wipe out a generation of people, you can burn their homes to the ground, and somehow they'll still come back. But, if you destroy their achievements, and their history, then, it's like they never existed. Just...ash floating. That's what Hitler wants. And it's the one thing we simply can't allow."

Art matters. Too few of us alive today seem to understand this truth.

Ghent Altarpiece, Jan van Eyck, 1430 

An Art History course I'm currently enrolled in through the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) in New York City teaches me how to see history through works of fine art. Information is gleaned from more than what is overtly depicted in the art; it's in the style, the reasons behind the style, the perspectives and perceptions of the artists, how they came to have their views, and why the strong desire to express those attitudes and convictions. Our cultural timeline, our achievements, our failures, dreams, rebellion, foolishness, nobility, wisdom, and spirit are preserved in fine art.

Art is more than beautiful or interesting pictures, architecture, and sculptures. Art is a language of history, of culture, of mistakes made, of wisdom gleaned, and of warnings. Art is messages from the past which, when correctly understood, serve us today and will continue to in the future. Art inspires, disturbs, informs, challenges, soothes, and perplexes. It tells who and where we've been, and what we currently are. Art records everything!

How exciting to discover a new-to-me language, one which broadens understanding of the historical timeline, while encouraging the heart!

Who Does Your Indifference Hurt Today?

It seems we have entered an age where attention spans are so short, distractions so plentiful, shallow busyness so unquestioned, and conformity so widespread that the real aspects of living - of love and sharing and communicating in openness and sincerity - have been relegated to the bin.  

Who cares enough to set aside time to listen, to hear the voices of those we say we love? Who takes time to ponder anymore, to ruminate on thoughts and ideas shared by friends, then respond in kind? Who honestly desires to know their friends and family in depth, to share their joys and sorrows in the long-term, to take an active interest in what interests them? 

I do. And I feel very alone in this. 

My heart floats through the air expecting an echo of sincere response. 

It rarely comes.

I am awake. I hear and see true life and its happenings. I focus on them. I hold them up to the light for inspection and glean all I can from them. They build me, form me, teach me. And they show me how to care and love and engage. 

I long to discuss true life with others. 

But others are too busy for what matters. Others are content with slap-dash living. Others have a thousand pointless activities in which to drown their time and thoughts. Others choose paper over china, junk over gold. 

Shallow living is easy, as long as one remains anesthetized by the noise around them, and the denial within.

Living deeply, immersed in life and love, takes effort and time. But love compels the effort.

Perhaps the question, then, is where is the love that compels?

It is suffocated by indifference.

“The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.”~~ Elie Wiesel

 

Christmas Through the Glass Darkly

 

In all the Christmases in all my life this one feels the most fully deep, the most clarified, the most connected to its purpose. Perhaps because I am older, perhaps because my daughter is to have a baby, perhaps because the chaos of the world demands the Peace of Christmas. All of this and more brim my heart overflowing with the Love and Joy of Christmas, that Baby in the manger, the man He became, the Gift He gave. In the glass darkly we see and feel glimmers of Heavenly Delight, it beckons, we sense it. Christmas is a tiny parting of the curtain between that world and this; we get a peek. It feels exciting, it feels compelling, it feels . . . . like Christmas.

Overcoming Evil with Good - Living in the Perilous Time

Signs of strain begin to show in my loved ones' eyes, voices, words, and shoulders. The mirror's reflection reveals the same about me. 

While the blows of current events batter us, we are not alone. Millions walk under the same questions with the same confusion, frustration, horror. Burdened. Shock from heretofore unimaginable human behavior stirs anger and fear in our hearts, muddying our thoughts. We shake our heads as if to wake our minds from a nightmare. 

These initial reactions manifest without our beckoning. In order to avoid bitterness and hatred we consciously grapple with the vigorous shaking the ugliness metes out; we know the danger of dwelling in thoughts of evil. The still small voice asks us, at this point, in whom do we trust and why? Our security is in our Savior Jesus, not in our circumstances. 

Deeper within our hearts - where God lives - Truth meets chaos, unceasing prayers begin to trickle and flow, peace which transcends understanding soothes. Jesus is the Balm of Gilead. 

How do my loved ones and I proceed? With searching intensity our eyes lock, "How are you doing today?" Our arms hug a little tighter, a lot longer, "I love you, you are never alone." Priorities shift, "You are more important than my tasks. I am here for you." 

With words we remind each other of our power to instill purpose and hope by living as bright spots - as best we can - in a cruel world, to share the goodness of God in our everyday lives, to listen, to care, to mourn with those who mourn, to conduct ourselves in purity, beauty, and compassion, and above all, to love. In these small ways we banish the darkness with light. We offer courage to offset the misery. 

To the raging storms in our hearts Jesus says, "Peace. Be still." I observe the power of the Almighty in my wee shaky heart. My shoulders straighten, my chin lifts. I am strong and of good courage. 

Let us be there for each other as we travel through these uncertain times, remaining as calm as possible, always walking in gentleness.

"Turn from evil and do good." (Psalm 34:14, Psalm 37:27, Peter 3:11)

"By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:35)

It helped me to write this out.

I hope, in some small or large way, it helps you to read it.

I love you.

You are not alone.

Surprising Grace - Revisited (First Published September 13, 2010)

An ominous storm blacks out the entire sky ahead as I drive the car to the repair shop early this morning. The  Coastal Mountain Range in the far west - north to south - bears the weight of the dense disturbance. 

Still embraced by the eastern morning blue that thus far cheers my drive, I grip my steering wheel in anticipation of encountering the looming darkness.

"The only way to receive the help I need for my car is to enter that blustery unknown. The solution lies there."

First instincts are to find a way around, to avoid, to wait out the storm. But the appointment is today. Now is the time. This I can do. This I will do.

Just like any unexpected ordeal in life, the obstacle must be confronted, for enlightenment lies therein - or beyond. Difficulty must be braved. Willingness to be taught or rescued or strengthened or rebuked motivates. 

As is natural for my brain, an analogy is derived from my surroundings. The painful prayer of a recent crisis - a dark night of my soul - echos in my mind: "I trust you, God, though my legs feel boneless, my muscles merely rubber. I know you will make something beautiful out of this miserable situation. But, oh God, I need your help, need you to go before me. I cannot see a way out." In time, surprising grace rained down on my fragile courage, my frail trust, my on-the-brink brokenness. Peace that transcended comprehension. 

The Master Creator sculpts beauty from life's debris. All he requires from me is a willing mind, a trusting heart, however small and weak.  

While this morning's dark cloud situation is simple, my heart rejoices at its reminder of the innumerable shadow-lessons through which God escorts me, most of which are incredibly worse than a heavily-clouded dawn. His grace is evident through all. Grace that illuminates meaning. "There. There is the reason. There is the beauty. There is love, the greatest gift of all."

I am never alone.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~~Philippians 4: 6,7

Discovering My Purpose in the World

You'd think at my age I'd know my purpose.

I suppose I always have - sort of. We all subconsciously act on our purpose in relationships and also within our homes and spheres of influence, to a degree. But there is more. So much more.

August was designated as a rest month, calendar kept free. It was good for me. In it were choices that put my health and needs first. Revitalizing for my mind and heart and soul.

In small ways. But maybe those small ways are the largest connections of all.

I discovered that I am not invisible. No one is.

In that revelation a choice presented itself. Within the realm of free will, what effects shall my life offer the world? 

Some answers came to mind. They please me, excite me, challenge me.

I want to be a bright spot in a dreary world and an interesting spot in a lively world. God will use my willingness, I just know He will. 

I want to be strength and steadfastness in this uncertain world, experience and its wisdom, the wisdom of the ages and the wisdom of my  own age.

I want to represent the glory of growing older, to exhibit the same beauty I see in a an ancient red-tiled roof with its useful old chimney under a cloudy sky brightened with fiery autumn gold, the dying leaves ever more beautiful than their younger forms.

God grant me the mind to embrace these purposeful choices.

It's a start. It's a start.

I started to be free when I discovered that the cage was made of thoughts.

 

Lessons from Black-Eyed Susans

Apologies for the 18 day gap between my last post and this one. Life events happen. 

Happy for my personal interlude. Happy to be back. 

This morning I carefully snipped the curled-up flower heads from my cheery black-eyed Susans. Amazing to me is the difference it makes when surgically removing dead flowers, leaving only vivacious blooms. My eyes are instantly drawn to the beauty, symmetry, colors, and shapes instead of to the brown, crispy dead flowers crowding the fresh ones. Is it because I am the gardener that I after that first glance I quickly focus on the deadheads rather than the flourishing flowers? I don't know. But I do.

As usual, a life lesson presented itself.

And Bible verses as well.

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me Heavenward in Christ Jesus." ~~ Philippians 3:14

"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith." ~~ Hebrews 12:1b

Thanks to a steady hand and orange sheers this morning the sunny flowers bob and soak up the sun free from encumbrances. Clipping the finished blossoms allows room and energy for baby buds to reach toward the sun themselves. The entire group of flowers works together, under the care of me, the gardener, offering their proudest presentation. 

Refreshing the black-eyed Susans reminds me to do some personal gardening, to cast off unnecessary mental, emotional, or spiritual burdens, unceremoniously tossed within by others or my own self, or, to be honest, by current events. (But let's not go there right now.) 

Under the care of my Gardener, and by my choice to clear away the slog and bog, I become brightly available to offer my very best to those around me. Renewing my inner environment by taking stock of the inventory in there - including the rubbish that needs removal - creates the freedom to thrive, to continue. Better still it entices the desire to bloom, to let my beauty shine, my inner light. It is the same for you.

"...let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." ~~ Matthew 5: 16

In addition to helping others, peace and contentment are ours when we move through life lighter and cared for.

If we do the work, the benefits will come. 

The benefits of caring for my flowers are a jolly yellow color spot and the bees and butterflies that visit. 

In the case of my heart, mind, and soul, the benefits of discarding untruths and old hurts are relief, peace, renewed energy, and hope.

Which reminds me of another verse: 

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." ~~ Isaiah 40:31

Happy Gardening! 

Debussy and Me

When an unsettledness presses on me, Debussy's music calms me down, restores my balance.

Claude Debussy (1862-1918, French), considered by some to be the first Impressionist Composer, though he himself rejected this term, was the youngest of five children in a musical family, his father a sales representative, his mother a seamstress. He was close to his siblings and had an especially strong relationship with his parents throughout his life. 

When invited into the background of my day - while I write or pay the bills, or clean, or prepare a meal - Claude's soulful pieces create tranquility. 

My face relaxes.

My mind focuses.

My breathing becomes deep and restful.

And whatever I am working on becomes pleasant.

Such a simple fix to banish broody moods.

This is the power of art, more precisely the language of art, which has a passport to regions of my being words cannot navigate. Put another way, the language of art is the key to the lock on emotion's door. Gently and quietly this language enters. It simply nods its head to my mood, understanding even when I don't. This artfulness speaks to my heart which responds to both humanness and divinity. Soon my own head nods in return.

A powerful language it is.

The power of art. Any masterful art.

God is an artist. I am made in His image.

It is not surprising that the lovely language of beautiful art turns my heart to the Creator, no words necessary.

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weaknesses. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words."          Romans 8:26  

Here is a link to one of the greatest pianists of all time, Lang Lang, the young musician from China. This is a video of him on a boat, on the Seine in Paris, at night, lights all around, lovely cinematography, playing Debussy's Clair de Lune. Such a soulful young man. He is transported by the music and thus I am, too. Enjoy!

Joie de Vivre Moment #5 - Venice Water Taxi

As Indiana Jones sighed, "I love Venice."

Founded in 697, Venice has a unique history, a watery setting, and a romantic atmosphere with its canals, arched bridges, colorful buildings, and smells of the pleasant and not so pleasant varieties. I'll leave it to you to research her further.

Narrow walkways, hard cobblestones underfoot, GPS unreliable, like a puzzle to navigate but what fun! An absolute blast!

How tired my feet and knees became after working that puzzle for hours, finding the unique treasures which belong to Venice alone. 

But I digress.

One day, while vacationing for a week nearby, my husband, daughter, son-in-law, and I and drove into Venice, as far as we could, walking the rest of the way toward the liquid maze to explore. With gasps erupting from our lungs, cameras pulled from pockets and purses - pointing and clicking while in rhapsodic dazes - we crossed a Venetian bridge for the first time, water below, overcast sky above, history exploding all around.

"Where shall we go?"

"I'm getting hungry."

"I'd like to stand on the Rialto Bridge."

"Sounds like marching orders to me. Let's go!"

Our bed and breakfast host told us to be sure to take a map because GPS is unreliable in the city. Because the maps had tiny print - all those streets and businesses! - my son-in-law tried using his phone's GPS anyway. It seemed to work. But it led us on wild goose chases. We ended up in little stub-ends of narrow walkways, or tiny squares of residential areas. 

However, we did fortuitously happen upon public restrooms, clean and well-attended by friendly women who take your euros with a grazie (thank you) while pointing left or right for men or women. We learned early on that the word toilette uttered in an interrogatory tone would yield locations and directions. A good thing to know in Italy.

Yelp guided us to a little restaurant with good reviews where we had a delicious authentic meal at a table in the center of several other tables, Italian enthusiastically spoken all around. That took care of the hungries in fine fashion. 

Coffee and Cocoa Photo Credit: Caroline Foulard

Now, to find the bridge.

The famous stone arch bridge, Ponte di Rialto (Rialto Bridge) crosses the Grand Canal at the narrowest point in the heart of Venice. Built in the late 16th century and renowned as an architectural and engineering achievement of the Renaissance, the bridge is the result of a design competition won by Antonio da Ponte and his nephew Antonio Contino. 

GPS was taking us in circles, the map was confusing. I had a bright idea.

"Let's follow the crowds. We know we are getting close. The bridge has to be a big draw for tourists. The crowds will direct us there."

And they did!

We exited a narrow dark walkway into a tourist hubbub of photo posing, boats, and the magnificent bridge spanning the waters of the Grand Canal. Thrilling! Like the victors we were, we four stood shoulder to shoulder on the banks of the waterway, the sun had burned off the clouds a bit revealing the autumn Italian sky. A gondola floated noiselessly right in front of us. Ah, Venice! 

And then. . . 

. . . four noses wrinkled, four sets of eyes looked at one another.

"What is that smell?"

Travel informs deeper and truer than movies, pictures, or even Rick Steves. Oh, they show you carefully filmed scenes bathed in beautiful weather, smiling faces of attractive people - or at least friendly-looking ones - music in the background. Sure. But when you actually stand there in the comfortable weather, street musicians playing live music at your elbow, an eclectic array of ancient buildings splashed with the lapping waters of the canal, the iconic Ponte di Rialto dominating the scene, yes, your senses fill with sights, and sounds, the taste of the watery air, the touch of the sunshine and breeze, the sound of folk music, and  . . . the smell of sewage. Rick Steves didn't tell us about that.

But we, being us, found it hilarious. Onto the bridge we traversed swept up in the merriment of tourists, including us, posing for pictures, taking it all in, joy abounding. A dream come true.

More walking. More pictures. More amazement.

Until the moment came when it was time to head home. 

By the time that moment hit we were far from our parked car. Far, far far. We still had cobblestone walkways to tread plus arched bridges aplenty - you have to find just the right bridge to get you where you need to go - and curving passageways yet to conquer before we met the comfortable seats of our rental car for the drive back to our even more comfortable country estate in a nearby village.

My body went on strike. Right then and there. I gave my options some serious thought, then made my proclamation.

"I'm not walking all that way back. My feet and knees are killing me from these cobblestones. I'm taking one of those classic wooden boats, a water taxi. You guys can walk. I'm taking a boat." 

Protests of how expensive that would be met me, but I said I didn't care how much it cost. I've always wanted to ride in one. Now is the time.

Son-in-law gazelled from the bridge we were standing on to a landing where water taxis were parked, waiting for clients. He made a deal for all four of us to ride to our exit. Fifty dollars. If I agreed.

"Done." I said. I gave him the money. 

You should have seen the smiles on the faces of my family! They were so excited and tickled and eager and loving it! I was thankful for the inappropriate shoes I wore which led us to this decision.

In a matter of minutes an Italian man was holding one of my hands and my French son-in-law holding the other as they helped me aboard the rocking boat. My mind was blown. How did I get here? Who cares! It's glorious good fun.

My husband and son-in-law were grinning from ear to ear. My daughter and I were giggling and grasping each other's hands in glee. Look where we are! Look what we are about to do! 

Immediately passing through the cabin to the back of the boat, I stood there looking all around me, my arms resting on the smooth shiny wood of the top of the cabin, face to the breeze. My family followed. Once again, we four victors faced the world and the wind, only our driver and us aboard. We faced the canal, took a couple of excellent selfies - excellent because the joie de vivre shines from our faces - and we settled in for a dream come true. 

Drinking in the moment, studying and enjoying everything around me, feeling it, smelling the air which just smelled good like Venice should, of water and boat fumes and coffee and oldness, absolute contentment alighted on my entire being. 

Our ride took several minutes, for which we were thankful. Bursting with happiness, it took great self-regulation for me to not grin and wave at the tourists in the heavy water busses or the gliding gondolas, or even at the people with cameras pointing at us from the bridges. It's just not done. Understated elegance, you see.

After disembarking we marveled at our newfound energy. My rejuvenated body didn't ache anymore after its rest. I bought some lovely prints of Venice which hang in my bedroom, reminding me everyday of that euphoric moment. My daughter bought some clothing and trinkets. 

And we drove home, wrapped in our joie de vivre, happy chatter all the way.

That Venice water taxi ride is a highlight of my life. A dream come true, grander than imagined, enriched by the fact that, rather than a touristy check-it-off-your-list attraction, I needed help, I was in pain, and there was this sun-reflecting glossy boat which just happened to contain a wish for me, a desire to be whisked away through the watery streets of Venice, under its various-sized bridges, next to venerable structures, and with some of my beloved family along for the ride, overflowing with contented vitality.  

Oftentimes difficulties give way to the most beautiful - and memorable - joie de vivre experiences.

Che bello! (How beautiful!)

(Photos all mine except where marked. All rights reserved. Thank you!)