Socrates on Transparency

 

We can all do better here . . . thank you, Socrates.

So much pretense in this world. If we could actually be and achieve what we set out for others to see, well, wouldn't that just be something.

Some people would be shooting themselves in the foot, I know. Influencers, for example, who are so fake that even their most sincere offerings are chaff, floating away in the wind.

But for we serious people of this world, we could do better at syncing up the real with the image. We imagine ourselves virtuous, but in our private moments, are we really? Who are we when no one is looking?

This is something I've taken to heart all my life. I do put a good foot forward for guests, it's what a good host does, but I'm not phony. I genuinely want to give my guests the best possible moment that I can, give them a respite from the drudgery of life. 

I don't think Socrates was talking about hospitality. I think he was talking about relationships, about behavior, but mostly about our hearts and minds, our desires and thoughts. What we pretend to be is what we think is the best 'us' to present to the world, so it probably is worth pursuing. The genuine article, our highest potential as human beings.

I have to say, phony people are a pet peeve of mine. Here I am, living as authentically as I can, though not perfectly, putting it all out there, only to have phony people all around me perform. They purr and giggle, they lie and deceive, they manipulate and condescend. I do not like being used, hence my aversion to using people. I do not like to be stroked when I'm hurting, stroked like a little puppy with goofy baby talk and useless platitudes. 

When someone I love is hurting I listen. Intently. And I offer whatever actual help I can give, and I seek to learn what they need from me to get them through the storm. I think about them and about their struggles, they don't leave my mind. I check up on them until they are through it. I care. Sincerely care. I am there for them through it all, not just until something distracts me.

But it's rare for people these days to put it all out there. The social competition is stiff. We don't want to show our flaws, because heaven knows, no one else has any. Seems people are not comfortable baring their souls anymore. It's a rare person who will do so. I do so. And I find people willing to listen and help me and show true compassion with intelligence. While it's one thing for them to dig into my mind, they often put up a guard around their own.

It's frustrating. Very. Because there is wealth in sharing our highs and our lows with one another. Dialogues are far superior to monologues. 

Also, I must note that Happy Talk is so sickly sweet it rots our minds like sugar on teeth. Chattering about nothing at all or parroting the words and ideas of others is utterly useless in forming lasting bonds. Stop pretending. Have the courage to reveal who you truly are.

Be yourself. Ask questions. Share ideas. We don't have to have all the answers or even all the questions. But to be curious and to share a hypothesis in process or to puzzle out concepts and ideas, yes, these enliven and enrich us. Hard to find companions who will take the time to linger over conversations such as these, I know. Everyone has to be somewhere else an hour ago. Plus, there is a fear of being revealed, of being known as we truly are. It's sad because most friendships grow in the soil of honesty.

Oh well. I will keep being what I think is the best version of me - still a work in progress - and thank God for genuine people when they pop up here and there.

Those of you who already are with me in this, you know who you are, I treasure you. 

Your honor crowns you.