Saturday, January 02, 2010

A Couple of Things

Whatever happened to the life that we once knew?
Can we really live without each other?
Where did we lose the touch
That seemed to mean so much?
~~ The Beatles, Free As a Bird
Wrestled with my heart until four A.M.

Then I slept.

And this morning a couple of helpful thoughts come about.

Love your enemies for they reveal to you your faults and virtues. Hard process but necessary.
"...having an enemy is very bad. It disturbs our mental peace and destroys some of our good things. But if we look at it from another angle, only an enemy gives us the opportunity to practice patience. No one else provides us with the opportunity for tolerance. Since we do not know the majority of the five billion human beings on this earth, therefore the majority of people do not give us an opportunity to show tolerance or patience either. Only those people whom we know and who create problems for us really provide us with a good opportunity to practice tolerance and patience." ~~ Dalai Lama
Another aspect comes to mind. Fleshing out the truth that God measures the heart or intention, I realize more clearly than ever that to do a 'good deed' is just about worthless if it's done negatively, disrespectfully, dishonorably, discourteously, or in any other 'dis' sort of way which results in frustration, anger, or hatred for anyone involved.

I have learned that it's not wrong to feel frustration and anger, it's what I do with them that matters. Succumb or examine and resist. Much is revealed if I pay attention. Also, harsh examples of bad behavior which play out brazenly before me are great teachers indeed. I am determined to spare others from that sort of behavior ever coming from me. I also realize the anguish of the struggle of a person who wants to be good being forced to endure ugliness, to personally struggle with it. It kills me to see my kids struggling, too, and yet, I am so pleased that they do, indeed, struggle rather than just let negativity take root without a fight. They are fighting, valiantly. And they strengthen me by doing so. I hope I am encouraging them as well.

Happily, during the tempest that has been ongoing for weeks and growing wilder all the time, I have continually recognized the voice of my inner being gently reminding me, "Don't get lost in it. Remember who you are." My True North inner compass is staying true, even when the shock, frustration, and anger churn the hardest. At times integrity is nearly overwhelmed, but my compass eventually rights things. Good to know.

Battening down the hatches. Storm on the horizon.

If it's true that Christians will be recognizd by love what sort of person is recognized by hatred?


tom said...

Very thoughtful and true.

tshsmom said...

These last 2 posts are really resonating with me. We gotta talk girl!

deanna said...

I appreciate this inner processing of yours and am sorry for what the causes may be. Your "deeds" in the midst of it are looking like good ones to me.

Cherie said...

Thanks, Tom. Sorry you have to endure me enduring this.

Tshs: While I appreciate that you understand what I'm talking about, I am so very sorry that you do. It's so unpleasant, isn't it? To put it mildly. To have stuff like this to grapple with - ick. Yet, still, it really does serve a good purpose for people like you and me who choose to find a way to learn from it - and rise above. Love you, Tshs! Hope things are GOOD for you right now.

liz crumlish said...

cherie, sending you hugs across the pond. And hoping it will be even the slightest encouragement for you to know that your sharing your struggle is touching a life here and speaking wisdom, sharing grace and humility. thank you beloved friend.

Cherie said...

Liz, thank you so much! Knowing that my struggle and sharing helps even one person encourages me tremendously. Hugs back to you, treasured friend! Stay warm.

G'ma Joyce said...

I'm sure we've all been through similar sad sad experiences in life -and it's only when we can forgive the ones responsible that we begin to heal. Sounds like you have it all together and we'll just keep praying.

Cherie said...

AJ - Forgiveness is certainly the beginning. Forgiving over and over and over as the offenders repeat their behavior. Plus remembering that God has forgiven me, too. Thanks for the prayers!

tom said...

Perhaps the "love that you once had" was really just an illusion, of what Goldie speaks.

Cherie said...

Excellent point, Tom. I think you are on to something. Perhaps that's what makes reaching out such a failure no matter which way I try. There's nothing real to reach - only illusion.

Gosh, it's just so sad.

But again, if it's the truth that'll set me free, the truth I need and want, then I will accept it, no matter how pitiful and sad. Illusions just aren't working for me.

Thanks for being so insightful - here and in 'real life.'