Ohana

Circumstances beyond my control force me to confront and re-evaluate my views on family. My family. My extended family, to be precise.

You don't know how much you love something - or someone - until you lose it, until it is snatched away from you, leaving a torn wound, an empty hole that whispers loudly of tiny voices, smiling faces, cherished people, memories that may never be made.

Beyond ache.

And yet, I trust God. I know He works in mysterious ways. And I know He allows horrible things to happen to me - to all of us - for our good, for us to slam against a wall of reality, a wall we would normally, stupidly not even see. It's good to slam into those walls. Hurts like the dickens. But those painful lesson-moments allow us to discover our character, our growth. We get to witness first-hand the growth God nurtures in us over time.

Tested. Tried and True. "Hey, look, God! I responded correctly this time. Thank you for working a miracle in me."

Belief that joy follows sadness keeps bitterness at bay, creates laughter in a heart that cries for hugs from little ones, the sounds of giggling voices, the sight of tiny faces, the delight of making family-children happy. While the future appears stolen, my heart lies safely in its Master's hands. I am fine.

I have lived long enough to know that when we hurt others, that hurt always - always - follows us and stings us back sooner or later. So, I pity these people for whom correct understanding and wisdom evades. I pray for them. I know they will undergo a nasty reckoning just as do we all when prideful missteps get the best of us. Lord knows it's happened to me enough times, and will no doubt again.

Today, I choose gratitude for what I do have rather than tears for what I don't. I trust God to reunite and reconcile whom He chooses. I count on Him to lend justice to an unjust situation.

Whatever He decides, I accept. For He really is good at this Supreme Being thing.

"Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it". ~~ Soren Kierkegaard

Perspective on Disabilities

"Part of the problem with the word disabilities is that it immediately suggests an inability to see or hear or walk or do other things that many of us take for granted. But what of people who can't feel? Or talk about their feelings? Or manage their feelings in constructive ways? What of people who aren't able to form close and strong relationships? And people who cannot find fulfillment in their lives, or those who have lost hope, who live in disappointment and bitterness and find in life no joy, no love? These, it seems to me, are the real disabilities." ~~ Fred Rogers

Welcome

Another niece added to my family.

A tiny girl.

She joins four siblings and  lovely parents.

Welcome, little one! Can't wait to meet you someday.

Words of Encouragement

Please click on this photo to enlarge, for these flowers are for YOU.

"The millions of Americans who live decent, praiseworthy lives deserve our highest admiration because they have opted for the good when the good is not the only available option. Even amidst the temptations that a rich and free society offers, they have remained on the straight path. Their virtue has special luster because it is freely chosen." ~~ Dinesh D"Souza, What's So Great About America

Slow Down

Lovers' Stroll at Midnight

A radio news story irked Tom, wouldn't let him alone.

Unkind words to me - from a stranger - looped and spun my mind around and around in an off-kilter sort of way.

We were grumbly, frowny, withdrawn, and tense. Not upset with each other, just unable to unwind. Relentless frustration blocked reasonableness. We knew what was happening, even tried to console each other. It didn't work.

Midnight found Tom changing from street clothes into sleeping clothes and me changing from pajamas into walking clothes.

"What are you doing?" asked my tense husband.

In muted tones I responded, "I'm going for a walk to clear my mind. Feel free to join me. It's nice outside."

"Okay, sure."

Arm in arm we walked, speaking in hushed tones so as to not disturb a slumbering neighborhood. After just half a block the cares of the day began to flow and smooth off our backs like a wake behind a boat, only to dissolve amidst green, freshly-mown lawns, bulbous red tulips, infant rhododendron blooms, and new leaves sticking out of dark, twisty branches silhouetted against the night sky.

I could feel my muscles slowly relaxing, my mind regaining its equilibrium. Tom's arm felt softer under my hand as his elbow drew me closer.

"Oh, Tom," I whispered as we stopped on the park's winding path, "Look at the stars!" Bright, twinkling, comforting. Right where they were supposed to be.

"Makes you feel better, somehow, doesn't it?" Tom responded.

"Yeah, it does."

We stood there for a few minutes, just gazing upwards, letting the universe calm our silly stresses.

As we walked the last three blocks home, our conversation turned to funny things we'd experienced during the day. By the time we reached our welcoming front porch we were completely calm and happy.

We both slept marvelously well last night.

Midnight walk under a romantic sky. Good choice.

Movie Woman

If you are in the mood for a movie, perhaps one nobody you know has heard of, or if you want to be forewarned of a clunker, I recommend visiting Cassie's blog. She finds trailers for all sorts of interesting movies, offers her lively opinions, and often, after she has viewed the films herself once they become available, gives spirited, insightful reviews.

Many a drippy, dreary weekend evening around here has been lightened, rescued, and enlivened thanks to Cassie's deep-digging research.

Enjoy your visit to A Little Step Into My Head!

Liberal Political Madness

Here is an excerpt from the book, The Liberal Mind, by Lyle H. Rossiter, Jr., MD. Haven't read it, yet. Must say, it's intriguing.

"The Liberal Mind is the first in-depth examination of the major political madness of our time: the radical left’s efforts to regulate the people from cradle to grave. To rescue us from our troubled lives, the liberal agenda recommends denial of personal responsibility, encourages self-pity and other-pity, fosters government dependency, promotes sexual indulgence, rationalizes violence, excuses financial obligation, justifies theft, ignores rudeness, prescribes complaining and blaming, denigrates marriage and the family, legalizes all abortion, defies religious and social tradition, declares inequality unjust, and rebels against the duties of citizenship. Through multiple entitlements to unearned goods, services and social status, the liberal politician promises to ensure everyone’s material welfare, provide for everyone’s healthcare, protect everyone’s self-esteem, correct everyone’s social and political disadvantage, educate every citizen, and eliminate all class distinctions. Radical liberalism thus assaults the foundations of civilized freedom. Given its irrational goals, coercive methods and historical failures, and given its perverse effects on character development, there can be no question of the radical agenda's madness. Only an irrational agenda would advocate a systematic destruction of the foundations on which ordered liberty depends. Only an irrational man would want the state to run his life for him rather than create secure conditions in which he can run his own life. Only an irrational agenda would deliberately undermine the citizen’s growth to competence by having the state adopt him. Only irrational thinking would trade individual liberty for government coercion, sacrificing the pride of self-reliance for welfare dependency. Only a madman would look at a community of free people cooperating by choice and see a society of victims exploited by villains."  ~~From The Liberal Mind; The Psychological Causes of Political Madness by Lyle H. Rossiter, Jr., MD

Gay and Opposed to Gay Marriage

Just read a really great article by Doug Mainwaring entitled, I'm Gay and I Oppose Gay Marriage. The author does a proper, succinct job of explaining how gay marriage hurts children, which is the reason I keep writing and talking about the dangers inherent in the idea. I am a mother. I adore children and see that life is hard enough these days without stacking the deck against them. It's time we adults put our selfishness aside. For the children's sake.

"Same-sex marriage will undefine marriage and unravel it, and in so doing, it will undefine children. It will ultimately lead to undefining humanity. This is neither “progressive” nor “conservative” legislation. It is “regressive” legislation." ~~quote from above named article

Without further ado, I leave you to clicking on the above link so as to allow your mind to ponder the many useful points made by Mr.
Mainwaring.

Be brave. Feed your mind.

And I hope you have a wonderful day.

Un Père, Une Mère, C’est Élémentaire!” (“One father, One Mother: It’s Basic!”)

"Wish as you might, a mom and a dad are not interchangeable."  ~~ Anonymous

There is a mighty debate about whether gays should be allowed to marry and raise families. Passionate opinions on both sides.

For me, I cannot get past the idea that men and women are not interchangeable. Not at all. My sister, brother, and I were raised with my married-to-each-other mom and dad who were - besides personality differences - very different from one another because of their sexes. Different physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. They had different perspectives about life and I needed them both to understand the world - and its differences -  so that I could participate when adulthood found me. The synergy between a woman and a man cannot be duplicated in a same-sex union. It just can't. They are not interchangeable.

Children need a mom and a dad. They deserve the best shot at as good and healthy a life possible. 

As far as I can tell from my limited research, never in the history of the world has their been sanctioned gay marriage until now. Ever. It has always been believed to be a bad idea. Sure, homosexuality has existed. Ancient Greek and Roman soldiers participated in homosexuality. But then they went home to their wives and children. They valued their heterosexual family units because that is where legacy lives, where the family name is passed down, where culture and tradition are bestowed upon the next generation via a mother and a father. It was a no-brainer.

“Marriage exists to bring a man and a woman together as husband and wife to be father and mother to any children their union produces. Marriage is based on the biological fact that reproduction depends on a man and a woman, and on the social reality that children need a mother and a father.” ~~ Ryan Anderson

So, if marriage today is predominantly for family building, and if same-sex parents building families is not ideal for children, then why is it so hard for people to come to consensus about whether gay marriage is necessary or not?  

Because we are a different sort of people these days. We are selfish and morally adrift. In ignorance we have abdicated our responsibility and thus our power. We now sit down and expect the government to define the moral order for us, for we have lost our way. And we remain so at our peril.

"A people who allow government to redefine the moral order according to changing social standards or political expediency will not be able to resist tyranny because they no longer believe that right and wrong are universally based but rather man made and thus subject to decree. When the government can define right and wrong it will inevitably define its own actions as right by definition. It is not an accident that the decline in morals of the last generation also corresponds to the near death of the Bill of Rights. People who do not believe in Right, cannot stand up for rights. We have rights because justice is rooted in the Universal order. It is Right. Without a belief in a transcendent, absolute moral order, there is no Justice, no rights, only the whim of the state, our new god. Emperors and dictators have always sensed that moral decadence enhanced their own powers, and so it is today." ~~ Bill, from a comment forum

We find ourselves there, at the whim of the state, bickering, divided, the needle of our moral compass spinning.

In March of 2013, Chief Rabbi of France Gilles Bernheim wrote an interesting article entitled Homosexual Marriage, Parenting, and Adoption, the adapted version of which can be found here.

Another very relevant article, written by Doug Mainwaring (a gay man), pertaining to the importance of children having both a mother and a father plus the harm same-sex marriage does to humanity can be found here. It's entitled, "I'm Gay and Oppose Same-Sex Marriage." This article does a great job of answering some of the arguments my readers have left me in the comment forum of this post.

Fashioning a Life of Beauty

In youth one thinks in terms of discovery.

In the middle years one thinks in terms of accomplishing tasks, fulfilling roles inherent in creating a home, working a career, raising children, growing a marriage, and/or feeding the soul.

In later years one looks back - now and then, not constantly - to observe, to learn, and in so doing realizes beauty in both victory and defeat for they weave together to benefit the one who pays attention. Wisdom serves the willing. Wisdom gleaned gives life inspiration which - hopefully - flowers into a 'garland of beautiful deeds.'

Cultivating beauty is a choice eagerly planted in youth, tenderly nurtured in middle years, quietly matured when clarity, contemplation, and contentment replace necessary busyness.

'Fashion your life as a garland of beautiful deeds.' ~ Buddha

The blessing of age is the realization that within each of us remains the child, the efficient middle-ager, and the sage. To be blessed to reach what some refer to as 'The Third Act' is to step into a space of the synergistic fashioning of life. With all the tools in the toolbelt one takes hold of exploration and creativity, the peaceful and exciting moments where new depths of understanding are savored.

Those in their third act may embrace a life of beauty, give freely from their wisdom, move forward in harvesting all that life has to offer.

As for the rest of us, we might consider revering the wise elderly, for in them is all of us.

The real voyage of discovery lies not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. ~~ Marcel Proust

'Sweet Land of Liberty'

"Subjection in minor affairs breaks out every day and is felt by the whole community indiscriminately. It does not drive men to resistance, but it crosses them at every turn, till they are led to surrender the exercise of their own will. Thus their spirit is gradually broken and their character enervated; whereas that obedience which is exacted on a few important but rare occasions only exhibits servitude at certain intervals and throws the burden of it upon a small number of men. It is in vain to summon a people who have been rendered so dependent on the central power to choose from time to time the representatives of that power; this rare and brief exercise of their free choice, however important it may be, will not prevent them from gradually losing the faculties of thinking, feeling, and acting for themselves, and thus gradually falling below the level of humanity." ~~ Alexis de Tocqueville, French thinker and philosopher who lived from 1805-1859, author of Democracy in America, from which this excerpt is taken

This line - "...will not prevent them from gradually losing the faculties of thinking, feeling, and acting for themselves, and thus gradually falling below the level of humanity" - always gets me. My stomach turns, my brain recognizes the described condition in my fellow man and myself, my heart fills with fear for I must acknowledge Tocqueville's warning has indeed unfolded in my beloved homeland.

"...will not prevent them from gradually losing the faculties of thinking, feeling, and acting for themselves,..." FDR's juggernaut legacy.

"...gradually falling below the level of humanity." Below.

Tragedy. All the way around.

Freedom in this last best hope on earth requires our grip to tighten and pull it back from the hands of those who hypnotize us into loosening our fingers as the rope of liberty slides effortlessly through them, while the enemies of freedom smirk and sneer.

'We are tired. We are weary. But we aren't worn out.'

Fight, countrymen, with whatever you have left inside of you, fight. Before the end of the rope bounces, dangles, and drops out of reach and this great experiment - the United States of America - sinks into slimy, altered textbooks as a failure.

'Unleashed Energy and Individual Genius'

Finding inspiration at Hearst Castle

"If we look to the answer as to why for so many years we achieved so much, prospered as no other people on earth, it is because here in this land we unleashed the energy and individual genius of man to a greater extent than has ever been done before. Freedom and the dignity of the individual have been more available and assured here than in any other place on earth. The price for this freedom at times has been high, but we have never been unwilling to pay that price. It is no coincidence that our present troubles parallel and are proportionate to the intervention and intrusion in our lives that result from unnecessary and excessive growth of government. It is time for us to realize that we are too great a nation to limit ourselves to small dreams. We're not, as some would have us believe, doomed to an inevitable decline. I do not believe in a fate that will fall on us no matter what we do. I do believe in a fate that will fall on us if we do nothing." ~~ Ronald Reagan, January 20, 1981, in his first inaugural address.

September Pause

Sweet Cherry Tomatoes

Fennel

Late Butter Lettuce

Roma Tomatoes

Waterdrops on Spider Web

Spider Web, the Sequel

It's my hope that you enjoy the season which surrounds you!

'Closed' to be Open

When I was a kid most stores were closed Sundays.

Until 7-11's came along. In their wake we, as consumers, learned that we had a safety net in case we forgot milk, eggs, or bread. The safety net caused our diligence to dull. One thing led to another and here we are, a plethora of open stores available every single day - and night - opportunities for shopping 'round the clock, which on its face doesn't seem like a bad thing, until we realize we traded rest for convenience.

Lately, nostalgia has crept into my soul. Sunday used to be a special day, and not just because my family and I are church participators. No, the whole country observed the notion of rest. As a child I didn't appreciate the cessation, the interruption of life's busyness. Today, I feel the loss.

Pleased to find this Sabbath Manifesto whose goal is to encourage us to slow down in an increasingly hectic world. I've printed up their Ten Principles for later perusal. I've taken The Pledge.  From sunset Friday, March 23, to sunset Saturday, March 24, I intend to unplug, to allow my soul the space to calmly realize who I am and what I need and want, to allow my mind a breather from the constant input of this technological age, and to allow my heart the opportunity to give wherever there may be need which I can meet.

We'll see how it goes.

For me, unplugging means the cell phone - which I only turn on when I'm away from home in case the kids or husband need to contact me - stays off. The computer can get along without me for a day. The television - and Netflix (that will be the hard one) can save electricity by remaining off for me. (It may be difficult if others in the household find my Pledge uncompelling, but this house has many rooms.) Avoiding commerce, easy. Getting outside, lighting candles, eating bread, yes! Connecting with loved ones shall mean more than asking them to 'throw another log on the fire'. No, it will be a pleasure to listen, share, seek mutual understanding, perhaps invite some friends over. Drink wine? Probably not. The effects of alcoholism in the lives of loved ones has slashed too much of my heart lately so this is best avoided for now. But a nice Draper Valley Juice would add much. Nurturing my health sounds like bliss - a brisk walk, eating real food, a warm bath, a clean bed, meditation in a dimly lit room. Giving back, yes. I eagerly look for God's guidance in this. Finding silence, not easy in a house full of adult children, a hyperactive husband, and a beagle. But I shall find it nonetheless, perhaps in the quiet morning hours while sleep restores bodies, or on a solitary walk.

This Challenge takes place on Saturday, and I will engage thusly. Sunday, however, is the day I intend to rescue from then on out. Sunday, a day of rest. A day to remember the resurrected Savior, to remember me, to remember you, and to remember the relationship which gently cradles the three.

'Closed' seems negative. 'Open' positive. However, in this case closed means freedom to be open. And I am eager for it!

Choose One's Own Way

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.

~~~Victor Frankl

Before a Fall

Proverbs 16:18

I had it coming.

Long overdue.

"Now that my family and I only eat good food and bla bla bla........we are never sick."

Haughty spirit.

It didn't begin that way, nope. Just unfortunately evolved from the joy of feeling better.

Will there ever be a time when I simply learn a lesson, tuck away its message, and move on?

Why, upon the upliftment of blessing, do I so often look around, compare myself to others, stick my nose in the air, and condescend? Simple graciousness would be a much better response.

Three years of not being sick. Three years of opportunity to practice gratitude.

But no. Instead, three years of arrogantly patting myself on the back, as though I'd achieved the feat on my own.

So, here comes a nasty head cold. A ten day doozy. "Well, I deserve this."

But it doesn't stop there. Nope, this comeuppance is only getting started.

Under lowered immunity pneumonia creeps in. Weakness, cough, aches, fever, chills, harder cough, sleeplessness, fatigue, more fever, swimming head, shakes, sweats, more chills, worsening cough. Entire family in various stages of the same illness. Meals become harder to come by. The less weak compromise their recovery to make grocery runs, prepare food. The weak become stronger. The strong-ish resume weakness.

I've been sick for a month. I can't adequately care for my family. I can barely do anything. But cough. And sweat. And pray.

And get a clue.

Nose no longer raised. Nose being blown. Lungs thrashed. Sleep eludes.

Crabby.

Exhausted.

Defeated.

Pride goes before destruction.

A haughty spirit before a fall.

Just facts.

Got it.

For now.

Hope the lesson sticks this time.

I am never so weak as when I think I am strong.

January Sky

Anyone who lives in the Pacific Northwest knows that the winters can be soul crushing. It's not the rain that gets to a person, it's the gray. Sometimes blue sky isn't seen for weeks. It's like living under a soggy blanket, driving cheer away.

But this winter we in Western Oregon are enjoying Eastern Oregon weather, minus the snow. Blue skies during the daytime and freezing fogs that leave a white winterland for early risers to savor. A few good rain storms have come and gone with more expected on the way. But for a change the wet is the exception rather than the norm. I like it!

In addition to clear skies, last week we had a vibrant, breathtaking sunset that caused many to run for cameras. Including me. My humble point-and-click attempt doesn't do the pastels justice, but the photos give my memory a jolt. Magnificent!

Moments later the eastern sky displayed a large glowing moon in a just-after-sunset hover.

I don't know what the rest of winter will bring, and I know we need snow in the mountains. We may have a drought this summer, or a soggy spring and summer. Who can know these things.

May as well live in the moment and enjoy the gifts of January. Color, beauty, and cheer. Lots of cheer.