Saturday, January 23, 2010

Simmering Love Affair

"A great love affair begins in the mind and has many rebirths." ~~ Cherie
My cousin and I have been talking about romance. Both moms of many kids we understand the preciousness of time alone with our husbands. Keeping romance alive amidst the pressures and expectations of society can be daunting.

But it's important to us to keep in touch with why we married our husbands, why we love them enough to walk a shared journey for all our lives.

So Cousin and I talk. And think. And share.

Like any beautiful garden marriage is plagued with weeds which require diligent discarding. Bounty rains upon those who tend the garden religiously. Love finds its way through tangled vines of neglect.

A matter of the mind, it is. One cannot simply wait for a surging mood. Infatuation is for teens. Remembrance is the key. "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways."

Count. And count again. Even when you are annoyed with your mate, especially when you are annoyed with your mate, count the ways.

Tended love simmers in the mind and heart always available for pouring out in ways splendid, intimate, and kind.

Revel in your love.


cecily said...

I don't have children to distract, and I haven't clocked up many years, but I remember when Frank and I were going out, I wrote an A-Z list of the things I admired in him. When I'm stumped and grumpy and feel like I can't stand to be with him, I remind myself of that list and start to remember all those traits. They are all still there, just I forget to observe them sometimes.

Cherie said...

Very very smart of you, Cecily. You are so right that it's the forgetting that causes some distancing and remembering brings back the goodness.

Absolutely cool that Frank has retained the characteristics and whatnot that you fell in love with.

Thanks for sharing!

deanna said...

"Tended love simmers in the mind and heart..." 'Tis true!

G'ma Joyce said...

We've been married 65 years this July and I wish I could put into writing about my feelings the way you do. You are so RIGHT ON!! Tom is one lucky guy. Love you all. AJ

tshsmom said...

I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said!
We have an abundance of "remembrance" love, but it's so hard to connect with a man who is afraid of his feelings.
After 32 yrs, I finally cracked through to the place where L hides his feelings. Now, we just need to keep peeling away at his shell.

Hiding love away is a tragedy. Love needs to be shared!

Cherie said...

AJ: You remain my role model - nice to know I'm on the same page, heading in the right direction. Love you and UF, too!

Tshs: Yes, hiding love = tragedy. Hard is the road of unpacking our baggage, but it's a road we MUST travel if we want to find true meaning and happiness.