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This poor squirrel! I found this photo on our local news' website. For a few days I felt just like this. Blaahhhh.....
Today, 'tis good. Morning's air was cool and fragrant - energizing.
I hope you are comfortable wherever you may be!
The Good Wife's GuideThank God the times changed!
1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed. [So far so good.]
2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. [Duty? Be a little MORE interesting?]
4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. [Oh, yes, the king doth approach.]
5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables. [Dust the freakin' tables? Everyday?]
6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. [Immense personal satisfaction. Don't light a fire because you and the children might enjoy it, wait for his royal highness, then find your satisfaction in catering to him.]
7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. [Little treasures playing their parts? No wonder my generation is messed up.]
8. Be happy to see him. [If you have to be advised to do this, there are serious problems that food, fire, and a ribbon won't help.]
9. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. [Huh? How does one do this? Show sincerity in your desire to please him? Are we to fake a smile and fake sincerely desiring to please him because if we sincerely desire to please him this whole step is redundant? Ah, this explains a LOT.]
10. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. [Grrr.....yeah, sure, any topics I bring up such as personal business, the children's needs, the car blew up on I-5 but I only broke my pelvis, and 'by the way, I may be pregnant again' are not as important as his 'manly' topics.]
11. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax. [Is this mutual? Can the wife ditch the dude? I mean, she has a world of stress and pressure - a bunch of kids, er, um treasures - he can't even deal with and a mother-in-law from the underworld.]
12. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. [This is a good one, I applaud this, but not just for the man, for everyone who enters the home; family, friend, neighbor, invited stranger.]
13. Don't greet him with complaints and problems. [Another good one. It's a common courtesy we can all share with one another to respect the tired among us.]
14. Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. [Holy smokes. Yeah, leave the lady to stay on her shift of caregiving for the kids, answering the phone, dealing with the same stuff she's been faced with all day, and now explaining to the kids and whomever why he's out and she's subbing for him. Huh uh.]
15. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. [Frankly, I was nervous about where this was gonna go. But then I remembered, it was the 50's and people just didn't talk about that.]
16. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. [Hmm. Same thing one does for a crabby baby.]
17. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity . Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. [Yes, it really says that!]
18. A good wife always knows her place. [Firmly under the sole of her husband's royal shoe.]