Something is bugging me. Yes, bugging me, like a pesky mosquito biting and flitting and biting again. Won't leave me alone. A stupid thing, petty even. But then again the conflict is one many people experience. Politeness dictates we keep it to ourselves, but the injury claws and struggles to get out, to be heard.
The Injury Du Jour concerns spoiled children who become spoiled adults. We who were raised to be considerate and appreciative often find ourselves flustered by those who walk all over our politeness, mock our generosity, then slouch away leaving us pitying them and at the same time hoping we never see them again due to aggravation.
Kindness is its own reward, sure I believe that...most of the time. And I can tolerate rudeness now and again because I'm rude now and then. Rudeness as a lifestyle, however, tests my patience and sets me to examining the motives behind my kindness. Why do I feel the need to know my efforts have been appreciated? Normally I'm happy to create a warm and glad environment. Perhaps it's because normally those who surround me reciprocate with their efforts and we complement one another just fine without many words. A feeling of give and take. Working together by offering our personal talents and abilities for the benefit of all. An easy understanding. Appreciation is given almost subconsciously through an extra-tight good-night hug, a wide smile of satisfaction on the receiving end, or a quiet 'thank-you' politely uttered.
Yes, that's what's bugging me. The Takers. They take and take and take from everyone, consuming the kindness and efforts of others, but they give absolutely nothing in return. Not a thank-you, not a lent hand, not a nod of appreciation. In their silence they impart no wisdom, no joy, no consolation. Taking but never giving, expecting care but not caring to contribute.
Camaraderie exists among those who are taken for granted by spoiled takers. Afflictions are easily soothed. Pity replaces annoyance. There is power in numbers, it's true. We soon realize that the disdain isn't directed toward us personally, no it's impersonal and universal. The spoiled do not aim at us, we are merely the incidental wounded in their war against civility.
The sad thing is that takers only increase their isolation by mooching around. Their reputation precedes them, and adjustments are made by we who have been once bitten and are now twice shy.
Spoiled children who become spoiled adults tend to dampen the gatherings of the unspoiled. A little. Their mosquito-like buzzing generates a swat here and there, and the determination to use 'bug spray' the next time, which translates into non-invitation. We watch in amazement at the unconsciousness in which these moochers move. It's so unbelievable it becomes entertainment of its own. In that sense, I guess something is offered, however pathetic.
The shocking behavior of takers causes me to examine my own self, looking for ingratitude, greediness, and lack of compassion. And it causes me to re-evaluate why I serve. For appreciation? For love? For attention? Out of compassion? Out of love? Good questions all.
The cares of this world could be lightened considerably should we all take the time to question our own motivation, searching out greed, criticism, haughtiness, rudeness, selfishness, and ingratitude among other things.
Determined self-evaluation improves the world.
Moochiness simply diminishes a moocher's opportunities.