As the sun set golden in a clear blue sky, God distinctly answered a question my mind had not asked, let alone knew how to form.
In its special way, my heart understood the answer a moment before it put together that which the question addressed.
Mind followed heart in quick step, illuminated, for both struggled with something - something - which they could not reconcile, a longing, a discontent, something to which a finger could not point, deeper than the cares of this world, broader than experience, seemingly unknowable and yet, persistently beckoning. For months.
Suddenly, in the words of C.S. Lewis, there it was: understanding, pieces put together, an answer, a reason.
I have been to this place before, and here I was knowing it again for the first time. From a struggle fiercer, a burden heavier, the answer came clearer for the vibrancy of the ache and the years of my life. Clarity. Recognition of a truth fully understood.
Weeping overtook me, both from awe and relief, as the last rays of the sun washed over teardrops, warming my face with their cleansing, end-of-day brilliance.
"Thank you, Lord. So much. Just thank you. Now I understand the yearning and the discontent. Now I understand the why. The answer, Lord. The answer. The answer . . . is beautiful."
I am made for a different world.
