Staring Down the Fear

Ever since the virus contaminated our planet, threatening every single human being alive, I have found myself in a news loop. It started with a fixation to track the virus. That fixation has since enlarged to envelope the despairing miasma that is the Biden agenda. 

I can't stop looking. I can't stop reading. I can't stop . . . staring at it.

I am clenched as I stare. I am frozen as I imbibe.

This morning I analyzed my strange-to-me behavior of over a year and a half.

I am afraid. I am full of fear. I am afraid for my life, for the life of my friends and family, and for my country. For the world.

Staring at the events that seem to suffocate us all, I realize that I stare as I would stare at a large, threatening animal. Don't blink. Don't move. Watch it. Watch for any signs of movement, of change, of a forward motion toward me - terror! - or of signs of a hoped-for retreat - relief! Staring and concentrating with every fiber of my being, mentally and emotionally trembling, I exhaust myself on a daily basis.

All of this staring has achieved nothing. At all. Except for eye-strain induced headaches and occasional insomnia. Anxiety, too. I am well-informed, this is true, but most of the news subsides so quickly it hardly even matters. Every day there is something new and alarming, more Alice in Wonderland weirdness. To keep up is to crack up.

I am still afraid, but less so today. Why? Because I realize that my fear can be assuaged, even largely eradicated, if I break the stare-lock the news has on me and replace it with time spent advancing my own life. How, you ask?

Control the media input, reduce it, massively. It is manipulation, anyway, of the worst sort. It's good to keep a finger on the pulse of current events but not to be strangled by them. I am a witness to history, after all, one of many who will record and testify truthfully to what is now happening. This is important. However, I serve better when I am healthy and balanced.

Set realistic daily priorities which actually achieve productivity and happiness. The furor of national terror will reduce to a slow, controllable simmer. Shocking things will still happen, but they won't obliterate my time and peace of mind if they are not the sole and fearful focus of my life.

Regain a balanced perspective by concentrating on nourishing the spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical dimensions of my being which have been too-much waylaid during this time of the virus and Biden. I've found it's quite helpful to do a weekly self-check: have I made time for socializing, for quietude, for exercise, for fun, for family, for God?

The heart can get carried away. The mind makes the choices. Choose a long view, including trust in God. Choose to be rational, logical, faithful. Choose health and intelligence. Keep an eye on the news and help where you can, just don't overdo it to the point of self-harm. That helps no one.

Small tweaks, large benefits.

I feel better already.