Monday, July 15, 2013


Circumstances beyond my control force me to confront and re-evaluate my views on family. My family. My extended family, to be precise.

You don't know how much you love something - or someone - until you lose it, until it is snatched away from you, leaving a torn wound, an empty hole that whispers loudly of tiny voices, smiling faces, cherished people, memories that may never be made.

Beyond ache.

And yet, I trust God. I know He works in mysterious ways. And I know He allows horrible things to happen to me - to all of us - for our good, for us to slam against a wall of reality, a wall we would normally, stupidly not even see. It's good to slam into those walls. Hurts like the dickens. But those painful lesson-moments allow us to discover our character, our growth. We get to witness first-hand the growth God nurtures in us over time.

Tested. Tried and True. "Hey, look, God! I responded correctly this time. Thank you for working a miracle in me."

Belief that joy follows sadness keeps bitterness at bay, creates laughter in a heart that cries for hugs from little ones, the sounds of giggling voices, the sight of tiny faces, the delight of making family-children happy. While the future appears stolen, my heart lies safely in its Master's hands. I am fine.

I have lived long enough to know that when we hurt others, that hurt always - always - follows us and stings us back sooner or later. So, I pity these people for whom correct understanding and wisdom evades. I pray for them. I know they will undergo a nasty reckoning just as do we all when prideful missteps get the best of us. Lord knows it's happened to me enough times, and will no doubt again.

Today, I choose gratitude for what I do have rather than tears for what I don't. I trust God to reunite and reconcile whom He chooses. I count on Him to lend justice to an unjust situation.

Whatever He decides, I accept. For He really is good at this Supreme Being thing.

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