Saturday, January 22, 2011

Secrets and Sadness

We all have secrets, of this I am most certain. Who can fully know our minds? Our hearts? Our inmost desires and dreams? Our pain?

Some happy secrets shoot out of us like sunbeams through stormclouds. More frightening secrets tend to fester deep and angry like cancer.

Some secrets heal us, some slowly kill.

The secret to secrets is to know when the secret is destructive before the damage is irreparable. To know and to act. To act and to share. To share, to become vulnerable, to cry, to share some more, to allow another to carve away a chunk of secret in order to carry that portion for you. To let go.

To simplify.

To allow time to heal what we ourselves are powerless to tend.

To trust that our Benevolent God is working carefully, knitting what looks like an utter, knotty mess into something beautiful, somewhere, for someone.

To stand and not fall. To maybe waver, but stand. To trust when all control is out of our hands, when we stand naked in the howling storm of situation, wind-whipped, drenched, mud-spattered. We stand.

We just stand.


Mike S said...

Then there are those secrets so acidic we never dare fully disclose them for fear of them burning the listener as the have ourselves. Sometimes the best antidote to their corrosiveness is regular infusions of healthy, happy thoughts.

Cherie said...

You have a good point, Mike. There is compassion in keeping the acid to ourselves rather than to burn another with the spilling of its contents. Some things are too terrible to share.

Then again, perhaps there is a way to share the pain without sharing the means, in order for those we love and trust to help us find some relief, a thing we'd gladly do for them if their suffering was similar to ours. Yes?

Mike S said...

It's not so much they're too terrible to share, just to terrible to tell someone close for fear of causing them injury.

True that we'd gladly listen to anything, but it's so much harder to take that step when it's we ourselves who are troubled.

That's why psychiatrists and psychologists get big bucks for listening to other people solve their own problems:-)