Nearly three years ago I began this blog. It's a special place. It marks a stretch of my journey and will continue to.
A normal facet of my life is that people misunderstand me. They 'think' they know my meanings, but normally don't, because they don't listen. They hear a familiar refrain, a familiar thought or concept, something they can relate to and they apply their preconceptions to my words, my actions, my emotions. Most of the time they are wrong. I'm used to it. I'm used to not being heard - truly heard.
And I'm used to being truly known by a very very very few.
I know that many people misunderstand the title of my blog. They think I believe in them. No, I don't really know most of my readers. Even if I did, I don't generally believe in people. No. I believe in only one entity. My Creator. The only Good One who's always steady, always honest, always working for His purposes and those of his children - even when it doesn't necessarily seem so.
My blog's title is from a heartbreaking and at the same time fortifying Bob Dylan song which hit me hard and close to home three years ago. I cried - still do - every time I hear him sing it. I cry for him. I cry for me. Written for one of his 'Christian' albums, Bob shares what happens when a person seeks the Truth in the company of narrow-minded, unloving, shallow, ambitious people. I could relate then. I can relate now.
Bob persevered. He is still touring, still making music, making friends, discovering purpose, and experiencing the love of God. His experiences seem to have increased his understanding and wisdom. I wonder how wise his detractors are today?
For me, the taunts came from unexpected places and yet, in hindsight I see my naivete blinded me to the reality that noisy self-proclamation does not always the truth tell. In other words, I should have seen it coming - from where and from whom. My wounded heart was stunned to learn that 'religious' people can hurl the hardest, biggest stones. And that certain relations spare no one.
Here's the song that launched a blog.
They ask me how I feel and if my love is real and how I know I'll make it through.
And they, they look at me and frown. They'd like to drive me from this town. They don't want me around, 'Cause I believe in you.
They show me to the door. They say don't come back no more, 'cause I don't be like they'd like me to.
And I walk out on my own, a thousand miles from home, but I don't feel alone, 'Cause I believe in you.
I believe in you even through the tears and the the laughter.
I believe in you even though we be apart.
I believe in you even on the morning after.
Oh, when the dawn is nearing. Oh, when the night is disappearing.
Oh, this feeling's still here in my heart.
Don't let me drift too far. Keep me where you are, where I will always be renewed.
And that which you've given me today is worth more than I could pay.
And no matter what they say, I believe in you.
I believe in you when winter turns to summer.
I believe in you when white turns to black.
I believe in you even though I be outnumbered.
Oh, though the earth may shake me. Oh, though my friends forsake me.
Oh, even that couldn't make me go back.
Don't let me change my heart. Keep me set apart from all the plans they do pursue.
And I, I don't mind the pain, don't mind the driving rain.
I know I will sustain.
'Cause I Believe in You.
So, when I quote from Bob Dylan or share how he's quietly influenced my thinking and my spirit, or even if I just mention him in passing maybe you'll understand that to me he's more than a nasally-voiced, skinny guy with piercing blue eyes, a lyricist with 'odd' lyrics, and an unusual man with an eclectic following. No, to me he's a fellow traveler searching to find what is true, speaking that truth, calling it as he sees it, and living out his destiny with integrity.
As for this blog? Lord willing, it will remain. My cherished place of expression.
My imperfections are many, my joys unlimited, my sorrows deep, my laughter frequent, and my disappointment all too often. But these are parts of my life, real and true, unvarnished, stickery, and smooth. Life as it is this side of eternity. Honest, forgiving, contrite, right and wrong, wise and foolish, pleasant and ornery, and always on the seeking path. It's human. It's me.
And perchance it is you, too.