Thursday, February 26, 2009

Notes to Self: Freeing Oneself from Toxic Relationships

When you can't accept that a particular relationship has a short shelf life, or is toxic, you're "...like a dog at the dump, baby - you're just lickin' at an empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if you're not careful, that can's gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it...Send them some love and light every time you think about them, and then drop it."

"Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing in my family because I don't resemble them at all."

"You may not come here anymore with your hard and abusive thoughts, with your plague ships of thoughts, with your slave ships of thoughts, with your warships of thoughts - all these will be turned away. Likewise, any thoughts that are filled with angry or starving exiles, with malcontents and pamphleteers, mutineers and violent assassins, desperate prostitutes, pimps and seditious stowaways - you may not come here anymore, either. Cannibalistic thoughts, for obvious reasons, will no longer be received. Even missionaries will be screened carefully, for sincerity. This is a peaceful harbor, the entryway to a fine and proud island that is only now beginning to cultivate tranquillity. If you can abide by these new laws, my dear thoughts, then you are welcome in my mind - otherwise, I shall turn you all back toward the sea from whence you came. That is my mission, and it will never end."

"As smoking is to the lungs, so is resentment to the soul; even one puff of it is bad for you...You might just as well hang it up and kiss God good-bye if you really need to keep blaming somebody else for your own life's limitations."

"I thought of how many people go to their graves unforgiven and unforgiving. I thought of how many people have had siblings or friends or children or lovers disappear from their lives before precious words of clemency or absolution could be passed along. How do the survivors of terminated relationships ever endure the pain of unfinished business? From that place of meditation, I found the answer - you can finish the business, from within yourself. It's not only possible it's essential."

(excerpts from Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love

6 comments:

Sandy's Notes said...

Oh Cherie, Now I'm definately going to read it again!

Cherie said...

Lots of good stuff in there, huh Sandy.

sufferingsummer said...

I'm catching up on blogs so I just saw this one. This is such a great book. I loved it beginning to end. Though I'm still battling the idea of toxic relationships that aren't exactly negative in nature but certainly don't feed the soul...still not sure what to do with those!

Cherie said...

Good question, Summer.

cecily said...

I have been resisting this book... you know, the whole 'it's too popular for me to touch it' thing. But maybe I'll have to give it a go. You're piquing my curiousity!

Cherie said...

For the same reasons as you, Cecily, I resisted this book for a loooong time. But then, I bought it. And I'm glad I did. I don't agree with everything the author espouses, but the chance to study a person and three of my favorite-to-research cultures, well, too good to pass up. There was more for me in the book than I imagined.