Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Enough

Negativity, thou art everywhere.

And I'm sick of it.

Seems like I have a log jam of everyone else's problems stuffed inside my body.

Feel like a giant, grumpy teddy bear who's stuffing is sticking out.

Out my ears.

Out my eyes.

Out my belly button.

Am I processing too slowly?

Are too many people depending on me instead of themselves?

Am I not saying 'No' enough? Sternly enough? Clearly enough?

Too controlling. Micro-managing.

These are my problems.

I let stuff in. It should bounce off and return to sender.

I'll work on it.

But right now? I want ice cream. Chocolate chip ice cream.

Momentary escape.

9 comments:

tshsmom said...

OMG, you just described ME!

"I let stuff in. It should bounce off and return to sender."
Let me know if you figure out how to do this cuz I'm terrible at it!

How do we walk the fine line between being a nurturing human or becoming everyone's doormat?

deanna said...

There are times when comfort food is what it takes. Wish I could make it better, Cherie, but I know you're in good Hands. Take care.

Cherie said...

Tshs: If I figure it out, if you figure it out, we shall get together! Your question is a good one. Very very good.

Deanna: How right you are. Thankfully there's no ice cream in our house but I did find comfort in a perfect cup of cocoa, sipped slowly and with attention, in a very quiet space. ; )

Cherie said...

Tshs: If I figure it out, if you figure it out, we shall get together! Your question is a good one. Very very good.

Deanna: How right you are. Thankfully there's no ice cream in our house but I did find comfort in a perfect cup of cocoa, sipped slowly and with attention, in a very quiet space. ; )

cecily said...

Oh my goodness - are we in parallel lives? Hahaha. I don't think so, but yesterday I had a friend tell me to please stop worrying about her and go back to being a friend. I confess I don't know how to do that, because to me, being a friend includes times of being concerned for their welfare. She sure needs my concern at the moment. I've been asking myself if this is a control thing - am I trying to control her with my concern? Is this about me not being able to change her situation so I send lots of 'thinking of you' thoughts and texts and emails??? Am I too controlling, micro-managing?!

Hope you find the way through your present situation!

Sandy's Notes said...

I love the image of the overstuffed teddy. It can be cute but when you realize what the stuffing is, it's more of a concern.

I hope you are able to put your stuffing back today Cherie, maybe after a good nights rest, you will look at things a little differently and some of that heaviness will be lifted.

Take good care of yourself.

Cherie said...

Isn't it just the most confusing thing, Cecily?! Trying to do the compassionate thing because we care, and then finding out that in trying we maybe try too hard and get in our own way, or in the way of others. Good grief. Who knew caring could be so complicated. We are both heart-on-our-sleeve kind of gals, you and me.

Sandy: The stuffing seems to have been magically tucked in its place last night as I slept. How wise you are to recognize just what was needed. Precious sleep. And better food yesterday - I denied the ice cream. How can I awaken one morning to such spirit gloom one day and rainbows the next? Like I said, complicated and confusing.

But, I do feel better today so I'll take it.

Gardenia said...

Oi! Been there, and still go there sometimes - too often for sure.

I can't take refuge in ice cream, too many years of taking refuge in food led me to sickness and misery in trying to help myself cope with all this stuff (in unhealthy ways) - am fighting my way back and trying to learn how to take care of myself and still give - but it a more healthy way. I think some of this quandry comes from being a person with a naturally giving personality - which is good - its just that sometimes people take it for granted, then we get just plain ol' worn out and worn down.

Cherie said...

Yeah, plain ol' worn down. I'm glad that I bounce back quicker than I used to, though.

Like I mentioned in my comment on the post above this one, you are my role model for switching gears and learning to take better care of myself. Coping without turning to food. I'm getting better at it.